So I had another rough night. What's new? It would be nice if I had a feasible reason to have a rough night, but, no such luck. Sorry to say that there's no alcohol, caffeine, drugs, or wild partying involved.. never has been... just always me and the sleep demon. 1:02AM, 3:25, 6:04. At least this time I slept enough to have dreams, and remember them... or maybe that wasn't such a good thing. The high point was a grieving headless woman wearing an orange calico Little House on the Prairie style dress. I awoke with a start and with the wayward tears that I had shed in that dream still clinging to my eyelashes. It was strange to say the least.
I tried to sleep a bit more but alas, as usual, twas not meant to be. I figured I had better write the dream down lest I forget the details, but of course some were already lost to that sleepy haze of just awakenedness. I wrote a bit, read a couple blog posts, started a couple of my own and decided to close my eyes for a little while. As I lay there, once again pondering the great question of life, a thought popped into my head... "Self-propelled unit". That is what I used to be "self-propelled". As I remained still and stared up at the ceiling, I said: "I am an inert object." I had most certainly thought of this before, however this morning it struck me as funny... because this time its meaning was literal, metaphysical AND existential. I breathed deeply... some human emotional crap crept in bed with me... and I slept.
As I sat here and began to write this, the Title became clear. I wasn't just a "Self-Propelled Unit", I was a "Self-Propelled Multi-functional Unit", and that was what I was no longer, neither self-propelled nor multi-functional. The inner-motivation and the outside impetus were no longer with me, and therefore I became stationary, inert, stagnant.. you get the picture.. aka the Obsolete Redundancy Program.
The strangest part of this is that upon completing my pensive pondering, all I could think about was chocolate pudding.
The strangest part of this is that upon completing my pensive pondering, all I could think about was chocolate pudding.
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4 comments:
I have forgotten to mention this in past comments and I'm not sure it's even a feasible idea for you to try but:
As you know, I struggle to sleep to this day. What worked for me and i know it sounds strange is I could sleep during the day. I could nap, not sure why but I could sleep during the day and not at night. So I took a regular nap every day and to my surprise found when I slept during the day, I would sleep an equal time at night. 2 hr nap plus 2 hrs at night = 4 hrs sleep which was much better then I had been getting. I'm retired so I realize not everyone can sleep for a couple of hrs during the day but hey, I figured I'd throw it out there...
Thanks T:
I'd pretty much gotten over the 2 hr sleep hump from summer last year and have worked up to 4 hrs... sometimes a little less, sometimes a little more... but always just in "chunks". I would prefer a regular sleep pattern or even solid sleep, but that'll take time. I can't quite get away with sleeping one or two hours during the day, so sometimes I settle for just closing my eyes for a minute or two.
I don't know how you manage to even sleep at all with your aches and pains.
Chocolate pudding.
Please forgive my maniacal laughter!
T1G:
Yeah.. thanks dude. But I guess I started that.
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