Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016


Interesting... Today in the "You have memories to look back on..." in Facebook, there was a picture of a Leonberger dog that I had shared. I went agoogling, and followed that with the Belgian Malinois, which then lead to the Groenendael. I had not heard the name of that breed before, nor did I know what it looked like before today. Apparently, I found him, the one in my dream.

Sunday, March 20, 2016



Today is the first day of Spring. This means that another birthday fast approaches. I rarely wish for things, as it is just a day in the calendar of life after all. This year however, I made a quiet little wish, I suppose more like a smidgen of hope, for one particular thing. But alas, I already know the outcome.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Ummm.... yeah.... no...

Hadn't been on the blog for a couple days. As I usually do, I went to the overview to check the dwindling stats, and had to do a double-take, as I noticed "1 comment". Funny though, that I didn't say "oooh... a comment", I said "what the?" The blog is pretty much dead, hence the appropriate reaction.  And then the sheer utter spamness of it...
It was a comment regarding this post.
Oh... and on a sidenote, my blog just had its sixth birthday. Woohoo... or something...  

Friday, March 4, 2016


I have often thought, at different times during my life, that there were just certain things that would never be a part of my life. As a kid, I knew I wasn't going to have kids, or get married. After a certain point, I knew I wasn't going to read any more books, nor would I travel any more. I also knew that I would never get to do anything more with the house. When before I had pictures and ideas, I just stopped thinking about it, because it was unrealistic. When I opened my shop, it was not something that I had always wanted to do or had thought about over the years, it was just an idea that came up and everything fell into place for me to do it. I got to be the creative me and it also allowed me to just be me, in the freedom of that environment. It was after I closed the shop that I wondered more about the personal aspect of my life. I guess it was following that adjustment, getting my first computer, and being online when everything started to unravel.

I have come to the conclusion that I wasn't meant for anything more. Life for me IS just about a job and paying bills. There is nothing more. Living in a small town with no room for growth or advancement, that is just the way it is. As everything falls apart around me, I go further into debt to exist. I have reached the point where I have no desire to seek more knowledge. I have nothing remotely resembling passion in my soul. (Not that I ever did.) I can help no one. I can barely keep my mind together. There is no hate. There is no love. One thing that remains, with its irregular heartbeat, is sadness. I contemplate many things as I lie awake in the dark, but as much as I fight it, eventually I still manage to breathe deeply and fall asleep at peace with myself, and wake up every morning new. I don't shower and wash my hair every day, but I still wash my face and brush my teeth and floss, without fail. I marvel at the mundane. I just can't seem to live is all.

(I wrote most of this the other day and finished it tonight, but once again, I hesitate. Apparently I have come full circle since I began the blog.)

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Great explanation...

I didn't watch the Oscars. (I haven't watched tv in almost fourteen years.) I had heard about the controversy and the call for boycotting, but had seen this spot on explanation about a month ago and figured I would post it now.