Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.

Friday, December 31, 2010

A Sweet Ending...

I love this image, which is from:

I wasn't planning (how many times have I said that in the past little while) on doing any more posts this year, but I couldn't not do this one. As I've said before I don't see big bro that much anymore. But this just made my day, and perhaps my year. Aged father had gone to meet up with him and just came back with an actual wrapped present for me. Shocked I was. It is not that I was expecting a present at all... it was that it was actually WRAPPED! When I opened it... a 2011 Canadian Army Calendar. I didn't even know there was such a thing. This might be the coolest present ever. (And I'm pretty old to be saying that at this time in my life.) Funny thing... I haven't had need of a calendar at home for about three years now, but I know this coming year I will have to change that...

Happy NEW Year one and all.
Happy is entirely up to us, and 
sometimes that is the toughest part.


Life is texture and growth... and the willingness to accept it.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Excitement escalating...

I had posted a link to this under "How Cool is This" on my sidebar way back when it first came out, but removed it when I revamped the blog. So... I have decided to post it here now...

... because, I wanted some sort of segue to posting the trailer to Thor, starring a rather hairy but hot-looking Chris Hemsworth (James T. Kirk's dad in Star Trek). Now when I first saw the piece-meal leaked trailer, I thought it looked a little cheesy, but now after seeing this, I can't wait to watch it.

The last few years, excluding 2009, I spent my quiet New Year's Eve with Vin Diesel. This year however there doesn't seem to be anyone to fit the bill. The Thor trailer, or rather Chris Hemsworth as Thor, reminded me that I have yet to decide on the company with whom I should ring in the new year. I'm thinking maybe "The Other Guys", but Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg don't pack quite the same punch as Vin. Decisions, decisions.

So what are you doing New Year's Eve?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Sharing and other random things...

When I first started this blog back in March, the thought never would have crossed my mind that I would end up "sharing" so much. Honestly, I didn't think I had much to say.... or worth saying. I have always known that my mind is full of a vast array of thoughts and ideas, but I figured that is where they were supposed to stay.

Someone recently said to me on two separate occasions... "no one has commented on your blog." I said "yes I know, but that is not the reason for having a blog." If you are looking for friends or comments, immediate reaction, or instant gratification then Facebook or Twitter might do the trick. This brought to mind a C.S. Lewis quote I've been wanting to share: 

“The Friends will still be doing something together, but something more inward, less widely shared and less easily defined;... still collaborating, but in some work the world does not, or not yet, take account of; still travelling companions, but on a different kind of journey.

That is why those pathetic people who simply “want friends” can never make any. The very condition of having Friends is that we should want something else besides Friends.”

Perfunctory and rather snarky, but true regardless.

As I have said before, I am not one of those shiny, happy... huggy people. However, today as I headed out the door to run errands, a guy I've known many years came across the street for a chat and I got meself a great big Irish bear hug. So I admit... I think I needed it. We wished each other a happy new year and I continued on my way. I must have been in a good mood because I was humming Korn on my way down the street. (Who the heck hums Korn?)
I have said before that I very rarely get excited about anything, and even then the excitement is not excessive. However, when I open up my email and notice stuff in the inbox, an "oooh... I have mail" issues forth...  then I realize that it is just notifications of comments I have posted on blogs. This brings forth a memory from my old office job. Was so excited when we had ordered a new stapler.. a heavy duty stapler... now that was a big deal. A customer happened to come in as I was "oohing" about it and she said... "you need to get a life".... yup.

Hmm... during my sleep deprivation episode in the summer I did 15 posts in June, 10 in July and 15 in August. I have already surpassed that total in December alone. Who would have ever thought. 

On the road again...

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Fight Club...

Sooooo..... I was thinking of just posting this mash-up without an explanation as to why (other than the fact that it cracked me up), but then figured... aw heck... might as well.

You will note on the sidebar I have a link to "I Write Like". What you do is copy and paste a piece of your writing and it "analyzes" its similarities with "real" writers' works. When I first found the link, I tried it out just for fun. Ever skeptical, I tried a number of items that I had written, and the following come up more than twice: Vladimir Nabokov, James Joyce and Charles Dickens. One of the hitches is that it only relates the writing to a database of authors, not poets. I hadn't tried this for a while, so today I decided to "analyze" the poem I wrote on my "Quiet stillness" post. It came out as "David Foster Wallace". I have only heard of this writer once before, and that was when I had "analyzed" another piece I had written a few months back. Of course, I had googled him at the time and found his personal story to be both intriguing, tragic and strangely pertinent to issues that were entering my sphere of learning.

So being in the curious mode, I also tried out the post called "Christmas Found", which came back as "Chuck Palahniuk". Say who? I googled him and found out a few interesting things. He was born February 21, 1962, the same day as David Foster Wallace. One of the other tidbits is that Chuck Palahniuk is the author of "Fight Club". Yes, that "Fight Club". A book that was made into a movie starring a personal favourite of mine, Edward Norton, and a former hottie, Brad Pitt. (Sorry Brad, once you reach a certain age you must relinquish the hottie title.) After reading the wiki article, I found the video mash-up on the author's official website.

Oddly enough, I have never read any of the authors noted above, and as I have said before, I write, but I am not a writer. And... it would appear with the increased frequency of writing and sharing bits and pieces of me that despite what I thought a couple months ago, my blog journey isn't quite ready to end just yet.


Someone asked me to do another one of these silly quizzes, being that her result was Mac and Cheese, which even though it is a comfort food, is a rather weird side dish. The quiz was What kind of Thanksgiving Side Dish are you?  I know Thanksgiving is over, but so is Christmas... so what the heck.

You Are Green Beans

Some people make a big fuss over you, but you're best when you're at your simplest.

You have a fresh, crisp outlook on life. You are lighthearted, and you don't like to be weighed down by anything.

You enjoy being out in nature, and you wish that more people appreciated the simple beauty of a home cooked vegetable.

You are a thoughtful and spiritual person. You wish more people would spend time on Thanksgiving thinking about what they're thankful for.

Monday, December 27, 2010


After everyone had gone and I had done the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, I remembered that I had these tulips sitting on the counter. Went to find this vintage tablecloth to complete the picture.  2AM Tranquility at the table.

Quiet stillness...

In the quiet stillness of my life, time seems to be moving so slowly that it almost feels as though it has stopped. The world outside seems to rush madly by, and I fade towards oblivion with each passing moment.

As surely as the wind blows
The living pass me by
Their noise, their messy thoughts
Their fumes and dust
Constantly moving, even while
Sitting still,
Their mouths move
And I...
I implode in silence
The unbearable barrage of the living
As they rush by
And I....
I wait for some coherent thought to come
Some tangible desire to manifest

This heart that wants nothing but a heart
This body that wants nothing but a body
This soul that wants nothing but a soul

cki July 26, 2009

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Sharing the day of the mutant potato...

The ETA for the turkey was 1PM. 1:30 rolled around and nothing. Looked out the kitchen window a couple times. 1:45 still nothing. Just before 2PM, turkey delivered, together with a bag  of potatoes and two kids. We hadn't discussed the kids being dropped off, but that was fine, they are older now and don't need to be monitored. They just can't be in the same room for very long... together. Sooo.... there I was on Christmas Day with Disturbed cranked, getting ready for Christmas dinner. I explained to the kids that most people wouldn't listen to this type of music on this day, but it is just what I do. They were fine with that. One went off to play the piano and the other I let open a present, which I knew would keep him entertained... for a while.  

I made the boy read the small print off the turkey roasting chart and we were good to go. I called the girl to come into the kitchen so she could see me stick my hand in the turkey's orifice to get the gizzard out, at which, as expected, she cringed, with the obligatory... ooh gross. Got the bird on the rack in the roasting pan and... then... realized I had run out of olive oil. I was certain that I had another bottle in the cupboard but nooooo.... So.... I used Becel to coat the skin. Turkey went in the oven at 2:33, a little later than planned. I went looking for the baster... but couldn't find the top part. Great.

 I actually made both kids stay in the kitchen with me for most of the afternoon to at least get a glimpse of the inner workings of the meal. I cut up the onion for the stuffing and sauteed it in Becel. Had the girl peel and cut up a couple apples and the boy peel a few potatoes, surprisingly enough, with no complaining or bickering. In regards to the potatoes, I had three large ones to use, but had asked for a few more. The ones I was provided with were mini russets and a couple tiny reds. One of them was the source of much chortling from the kids. The boy asked if I was going to put a picture of it on the blog. I said no. But, heck why not... here it is anyways:

The Mutant Potato

For the apple-sage stuffing I used one each of Gala, Ambrosia and Granny Smith Apples, which I tossed in the pan with the onion. Earlier in the week I had cubed and dried white and brown bread, so that was ready to go in a big bowl. Dumped in the onion and apples, chicken broth, tonnes of sage, black pepper, salt, chopped dried apricots and then some home-made blackberry wine, just for a twist.  Mixed it up and plopped it into a casserole dish, after which I realized that I had forgotten ... something... the celery. Oh well. In the meantime, chopped up the potatoes, boiled em up, then instead of butter, mashed them up with some whipping cream, skim milk and becel. Very, very creamy.... creamy goodness. Plopped those into a oven-safe glass bowl and.. of course, licked the spatula afterwards. The boy pleaded for a taste, so I gave in.

Without the baster, I had to bring the roaster out of the oven each time to scoop up the pan juices with a ladle. Twas handy to have one of the kids there to tilt the pan in order for me to do so. The stuffing went in the oven at 5:08, and then it was just a matter of waiting and basting. In the meantime I also knew that I had to return one of the DVDs I had rented the previous night, the A-Team. I had started watching it Christmas Eve, but it just seemed... too drawn out... or at least ridiculously lame, much like the original TV show was, if I recall correctly. Regardless, I still had to finish watching it. So I moved the laptop to the kitchen table and watched the rest of the movie with the boy, during which we stopped a couple times to baste the turkey. The stuffing came out and the mashed potatoes went in to heat up.  6:15 rolled around... their mom hadn't shown up yet. 6:30.... nothing.

Earlier in the day I was thinking of making a pecan pie at the last minute, but couldn't find the recipe, so that fell by the wayside. Wasn't a big deal, as the day before I had mixed up coloured marshmallows and pineapple to make marshmallow fluff. So.. after we finished the movie, as I was whipping up cream for the fluff, their mom finally showed up with the side dishes of veggies....Brussel Sprouts and creamed cabbage (and butter tarts). The DVD was to have been returned by six, but I hadn't been able to get out of the house, so I asked if she could return it for me. Turkey came out and was tented, veggies put in to warm up, gravy made and all was well. The aged father was over an hour late, so we dished out the food and had it ready for him.  This may have been the first year everything was on the table before he got here.

I had chilled and opened a bottle of an Italian Pinot Rosa, which I "thought" was going to be fabulous, but sadly... no. I added Ginger Ale, and subsequently peach juice... it was better that way, honestly. I should have just stuck with my favourite, moderately sweet, light, cheap German wine.  It never fails, whenever I try something new, it never ends well. Doesn't matter if it is a new chocolate bar, potato chip flavour, wine or doing something out of my realm... if it is new or different, it never ends well.

This year was the first year we did not eat in the dining room, as it has morphed into an office/den mess.  Eating in the kitchen was, oddly enough, a nice change. And.. the dinner was argument free. The turkey was moist and juicy, the mashed potatoes super creamy, the stuffing was better than I thought it would be, the Brussel Sprouts were kind of icky (she did them in a Balsamic vinagrette), creamed cabbage was nice and the wine gross. Everyone was gone by 9:15 and all I had to do then was clean everything up. I did a bit, then took a couple hours off to play around on the laptop. I came back to get the rest done, and finished washing dishes at 2AM and went to bed probably after 3. At 7:44AM there was knocking at the front door. I have no idea how I was able to hear it. I was being asked if I wanted to go out of town for Boxing Day shopping.... Um... that would be a no.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

The Christmas Spirit...

I don't know any of these guys, or anyone for that matter deployed in Afghanistan, but this picture speaks to me:

from TAH and from here.  Now that is the spirit.

This was the first year that I spent the entire day wearing my Santa hat, whilst prepping veggies, cooking the turkey, mashing potatoes, whipping cream, etc.... eating dinner, putting leftovers away, cleaning up and sitting here typing. I don't know why, but for some reason, wearing the Santa hat today just seemed to make it feel more Christmas-ish when I wasn't feeling quite Christmas-y.

And on this day, it may seem odd to some, but once again, I wish to honour the fallen since last time:
Canada (PQ), U.S. (SC, Cali, Minn, Pa (2), Tex, Va),
France (2), Germany and the U.K.

As the day draws to a close, I sit here in my quiet, peaceful little corner of the world and my thoughts drift to another time and another place.

It's Christmas! Wahoo.

Hmm... Christmas Day and what am I doing? Yeah... I would much rather have gone back to bed after waking up, but hey... wahoo... it's Christmas.  About two hours ago, it was still up in the air who was cooking Christmas dinner. Apparently it is up to me to make the decision. I will in all likelihood end up doing it at my place. Why am I sooooo relaxed? It is Christmas after all.

Just got off the phone...I guess I better get off the laptop and get started with prepping the veggies. Big sis will be dropping off some potatoes and the turkey in about an hour, and hopefully the bird will have been properly defrosted. Up until today, it was presumed that dinner would be at their place, and I was just going to be making the stuffing. This would have been the first year in many that I hadn't done the dinner here. Why mess with tradtion. Bonus... I will get to open a bottle of something.

Also, further to a previous post, I now know that my brother is back home, so he will be having Christmas somewhere... just not sure where exactly that would be. I got his voice mail when I called to wish him a Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas one and all.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas...

Christmas Time is Here

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas found...

I knew I hadn't lost these, as I mentioned here. I knew I had to have tucked then away somewhere safe, somewhere that I would remember. For the life of me I just could not. Too much going on between Christmas and New Years last year. So... where did I "find" them? In a silver painted wooden box in the dining room, nesting underneath another box which is home to some extra Christmas ribbons.... In the dining room for crying out loud. The dining room... how could I forget that?

These remind me of candy, but I am not quite sure why. For some reason, they also sort of make me want to cry. Uh... yeah... I figured I would listen to some Christmas music the other night to get more in the spirit.... same thing.  I was thinking to myself, egads: mental or sentimental? Either way, not good.


A couple weeks ago I was at a bank and the twenty year old newbie teller asked if I was ready for Christmas. I said, no, not really...  as I didn't have any money. She then proceeded to tell me that Christmas isn't like it was when she was "young", that it had become too commercialized. I said... "I agree", but didn't have the heart to tell her that my comment was a statement of fact... not a lamentation.


I was running errands today and during idle chat with one of the newer, but older bank tellers, she asked if I was going anywhere or had anything planned for Christmas. I said something to the effect of "no...not much". She said "oh, is that because of your culture?" I was thinking ... "say what" or "um... what culture would that be?" But I did NOT say anything. Firstly, she wasn't white. Secondly I am not FOB. I do not sound like I came from a different country. So because I am not white, how could she make such an assumption? What culture was she implying? The culture that the grandparents had chosen to start shedding when they came to this country a mere hundred years ago? That was a pretty big generalization on her part. Did I have any pre-conceived notion of her culture because of the colour of her skin? Nope. So I said, "no, we do Christmas, it's just me." I didn't feel like giving her my "I am Canadian dammit" speech, nor explaining my lack of Christmas spirit.


People need people. I had heard this before. I never wholly agreed with that. I know there are people who just can NOT be alone with themselves. I never really understood that either. To me, being alone meant freedom and independence. I came to realize however that my job became my companion, and its constant presence for so long had replaced the need for personal connections. I dealt with people on a daily basis, on the phone and in person, and that ended up being plenty enough. When I lost that long-standing companion, I was resolved to try something different, which I did... totally different. I took the business skills knowledge I had together with my hidden creative side and started on my journey into the unknown. In this new environment, even though I was working seven days a week, it didn't feel like work... and I didn't receive any pay either. The bonus was that it took me away from my math-based, logical side and allowed me to rediscover myself. Among a myriad of other things it gave me time to do, I had more amazing conversations with people in two years than I had in the past twenty or so.

What the two ladies at the banks did not understand is that my Christmas has nothing to do with gifts and money, or "going somewhere" or "doing something". It is about that ever elusive feeling generated by the spirit... that peaceful, fuzzy, warm, cozy feeling akin to going inside after playing in the snow. Having family within five minutes reach or having a family dinner is only a small part of this. I know it is hard for most people to understand that you can stand or sit right next to someone you've known all your life and still be completely alone.

This harkens back to a time in childhood when I could see the coloured Christmas lights on the roof outside my window and I knew that one of them had to be Rudolph's nose, even though I knew in my logical little mind that it was impossible. The feeling that, even though as a kid, knowing things weren't quite normal, I would still be taken care of. I think I miss that.

Dec 24, 2010 5:00pm
This is one of those songs I had been listening to:
When My Heart Finds Christmas (Harry Connick Jr)

Thursday, December 23, 2010

To dream or not to dream...

On the kitchen door... on a sunny day in December.

I don't skate, but I liked these because the blades are metal.

Changed the bird.

Can one be inspired or motivated to create anything without the benefit of dreams and aspirations? I say yes.  But... you might ask... how is that possible? Ideas and determination. Dreams and aspirations are beautiful, but... they seem transparent and superficial without the presence of ideas and determination. However, that being said, I believe it better to dream than not to dream. 

What kind? Are you kidding me?

A woman walked into a shop. The shopkeeper thought to herself "Yippee! A customer!" The woman, maybe in her 60s, or 50s (or 40s, but in terrible shape), went in farther, looked around and commented how nice it was, and as the two started talking, she said that the shopkeeper gave off a good vibe and she could tell that she had a kind heart. She then went on to say that she didn't normally panhandle, but that is what it had come down to. She talked of her financial woes, describing in detail a massive debt that she just finished paying off and about her ex-husband's financial woes and her husband being in a wheelchair and of her kids. This is a small part of that conversation.

"Could you spare a couple dollars so that we can have food for Christmas?"

"With having this business I am in a really tough spot, so sorry. But... are you from town?" "No."

"Do you have a place to stay?" "Yes".

Her nose was running. She wiped it on her hand. She then asked for a tissue, but the shopkeeper didn't have any handy, and told the woman that. After wiping her nose, the woman picked up a pretty fan and said "My husband loves these."

They talked a bit about some other things and then about food hampers, etc.

"Have you looked in at the soup kitchen? "Yes, but..." She went on to explain the woes of going to the soup kitchen, i.e. that she wasn't allowed to take food home for her husband. Yes... the shopkeeper said, he would have to go as well.  

"Do you cook?" "Yes."

"As we are talking, I'm trying to think of a food item that I might be able to spare. How about some pasta? But you would need sauce for it."

"Oh I have sauce. What kind of pasta?"


"Oh my girls don't like that kind."  (Say what?)

"How about Mac and Cheese?"

"The kind in a box?"

"Yes, the kind in a box."


Handing her the box.

"Do you have a bag?"

Yup. Handing her the bag. They walked to the door and the shopkeeper wished her well.

The shopkeeper is keenly aware that the woman and her husband are in better financial shape than the shopkeeper herself.  But... it is Christmas after all.

ps: I was going to do up a care package of food for my brother this Christmas, but it looks like I won't be seeing him again this year, and I'm not sure exactly where he will be. So, it's all good. Life is grand. Yup... just grand.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Boom... not Kaboom

Was I in need of a silly quiz again? You bet. However, instead of another food related one, here is: What Comic Book Sound are you? (I couldn't resist.)

You're the type of person who would be a very moody superhero. In fact, you'd walk the line between superhero and supervillain.

Blowing up a whole town or planet wouldn't be out of the question for you if you felt angry enough.

You are naturally a justice enforcer. Sometimes there is so much wrong with the world that it really gets you down.

You can't help but want to punish everyone who's evil. There's nothing that makes you madder than criminals who are allowed to walk.


So... what can I say about Korn? Did they finally surpass Metallica in my realm? Hmm... tough one. Maybe not, but their latest album "Korn III - Remember Who You Are" comes super close to doing it. I find it fascinating that perhaps my four favourite bands of the latter half of my life all found a way back to their fundamental selves when I was also struggling to do the same in my own time. Metallica did it with Death Magnetic, the Deftones with Diamond Eyes, Disturbed with Asylum, and Korn with this album.

If I recall correctly, the first song I probably heard from them was "Blind", but I didn't fall hard for their uniqueness until the album "Follow the Leader" was released. Their music over the years fed me and kept me motivated at a time when I could have just sat around in the dark. They were loud and obnoxious, being a perfect foil for who I was. As for being able to call Korn "comfort music", it is not just that I could listen to them anytime, anyplace.  In my twisted music world, this term is also used for music that I have been able to crank and fall asleep to, especially in my younger days when I fought insomnia. At night, I could never fall asleep to classical, jazz or blues, just metal, but only a select few bands, Korn being second only to Metallica.

The album title is fitting as the offering is basic and visceral. JD's voice can still be annoying at times, but Fieldy's bass more than makes up for it. The classic Korn sound is why I was drawn to them in the first place and why I will continue to listen, even though the mini-God-like drummer left the band a few years back and has been officially replaced.

Two tracks caught my attention immediately on this one: 
Oildale (Leave Me Alone) and Let the Guilt Go

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


 I don’t think I like being this... human. Feelings and emotions seem such useless, counter-productive things. They serve no purpose whatsoever other than to assist one in feeling a connection with other humans. If that is indeed their primary function, then perhaps I would be better off not having them. If I have not within me the capacity for love nor hate, nor to feel anger, then what is left to feel? Just sorrow and grief?

I spent most of my life not having a want or need for acceptance or approval by any other human being. Why would I care now? Becoming... human? A little late. Is it even worth it?

Background: This "Elf on a Shelf" isn't really my type of thing for Christmas ornamentation, however, I bought it at an antique shop several years ago because it reminded me of one of the tiny felt Christmas Tree decorations we had as kids. It's one of those sort of "creepy" things that now seem cute. The weirdest thing is that I don't believe I ever named any dolls or toys I had as a kid, but for some reason, this thing seemed like a "Danny". Every once in a while he would fall off the dresser and do face plants on the hallway floor. Didn't seem right seeing him on the floor and just saying "hey not again". Yeah, weird, I know.

U.S. Coast Guard ... say what?

Hmm.... here I go again. What the heck am I posting this for? I found the blog "EagleSpeak" by linking to it through a comment on another blog. On that particular day there was an extremely cool vintage ship's menu posted, and since then I have been popping back there to read. Today, the post was regarding the U.S. Coast Guard's top eleven videos of 2010, and of course, I linked over to watch them on YouTube.

One of the selections got me to thinking... oh no, me thinking again. I am quite certain that I went for a ride in a helicopter once when I was a little kid, but... I don't remember anything other than that. I do know for sure that I have always had a great affinity for water.  There have been times when I felt more at home in it than outside of it. So...something about the helicopters hovering over the ocean struck me. All my life, I never really thought much about what would be a cool thing to do... but for some reason, jumping out of a helicopter into the ocean and swimming to save someone's life might just be one of THE coolest things ever. 

Don't know what else to say...  vote for your favourite video or pop over to the YouTube link to crank up the number of views, or "like" it or whatever.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Translation please...

Not too many things bother me, or at least bother me enough to say something about. One thing is a lack of honesty, whether with oneself or to others. When someone says one thing, but means something else, or even worse, when they say something because they "think" that is what you want to hear. I have at times pondered this issue, and was prompted a couple years back to start writing a piece called "The Alternate Language" with a slightly humourous slant. One of the most basic examples of this is "I'm on my way." This statement is applied in a situation where the speaker has said they would be at a certain place at a pre-arranged time, or thereabouts. When five or ten minutes have passed from the ETA, and the person has not yet arrived, a query is made wherein the expected person says "I'm on my way." This is said to appease the person in waiting, regardless of the fact that both parties understand that this is NOT the case and that departure has not yet occurred, but is perhaps imminent.  Another one is "I'll be there in five minutes."  Although very similar to "I'm on my way", there is a vast or sometimes subtle difference between the two. "I'm on my way" implies or infers a sense of immediacy whereas "I'll be there in five minutes" allows for the possibility of the passage of a greater amount of time between departure and arrival. I have now come to the point where I then ask the question "Is that in your time.... or real time?"

Somewhere in a notebook I have a much better written version of the above, however I figured I would share the basic premise of it at this time, because... well, it seems like a good segue to this video that was posted earlier today over at a blog I check out regularly. Of course coming from the perspective of the opposite sex, it is much more entertaining than my point of view.

Hilarious... especially the male to female language translation. Couldn't stop laughing actually. Oh... and don't get me started on the Yoda voice.

Curtsy to Chris P from "I Know Funny".

Sunday, December 19, 2010

December Moon...


Life looking up?

Your vision won't fail so long as you avoid sticking forks into your eyes. If Jesus were here, he'd probably bless you in light of what's going to happen to you today.

(My wacky Aries horoscope from Laughsend)

Hmm... I feel I must share an update to this "funny horoscope". At 8:55pm, I was holding a glass in my left hand, opened the freezer door to get some ice and a metal canister fell off the top of the fridge. Funny thing is... I stopped it with the bony bridge of my nose, right between the eyes. There is a touch of irony to this as well.... if you look at the title to this post.

Man v Nature

Naughty... took another short road trip the other day. These photos were taken with the cell phone camera through a rather dirty car window whilst speeding down the highway. I lucked out with the theme "Man v Nature".

Friday, December 17, 2010

Merry wishes...

The link to this vid was posted by Boston Maggie, and although I embedded it, she commanded that you go to Youtube to watch it and pass the link on.  (14,874 views when I watched it.) Oh... and get a load of the happy Canadian at the very end. Joyeux Noel to everyone in the armed services wherever you may be, and to those who support you.



I actually won this official Canucks jersey in a draw! It was rather funny that the lady at the counter whispered to me that there hadn't been that many entries, so I had a really good chance of winning it. How cool is that?

I haven't watched any NHL games in almost a decade, and I haven't been following the Canucks at all, but they will always be my team. For a little hockey back-story, you can go here. They have been through a few uniform changes over the years and the interesting thing is that this current one is styled on the uniform that they wore when I WAS A KID! Somewhere I have autographs from a couple players who wore the original way back when.

Of course I tried the jersey on, but it is a Size Large, so it is HUGE! I'm really tempted to keep it, but I doubt if I would wear it, and there is no way I can sleep in it.... it's polyester. Hmm... maybe I'll wrap it up and put it under the Christmas tree... until I can figure out who to give it to.

I was trying to come up with a reason why I felt like sharing this bit of nothing and then it dawned on me that I very rarely get excited about anything AT ALL, but... yes, I did about this.  One other thing... just as I was finishing typing this, a sweet (some of the time) kid brought me some timbits! Nice. Sometimes you gotta believe. (And no, my language and grammar are not slipping, that was intentional.)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

To dusk...

...stilled with peace

Excerpt from: The Hour of Twilight
by George William Russell

WHEN the unquiet hours depart
And far away their tumults cease,
Within the twilight of the heart
We bathe in peace, are stilled with peace.

To honour the fallen since last time.

Fla (4), Cali (3), Mass (2), Tex (2), Ohio (2), HI (2), 
NC, NM, Alab, WA, NH, NY
and New Zealand

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Through the Never...

Time and space never ending
Disturbing thoughts, questions pending
Limitations of human understanding

from "Through the Never"

Monday, December 13, 2010


So after another big departure "dark side" post, I feel I should follow up with one of those silly quiz things to lighten the mood. This one is: What kind of cupcake are you? What can I say... everyone needs a little levity to lighten the load... and just breathe.

You Are a Carrot Cake Cupcake

You are a complex person. You have many interesting layers to your personality, though others might not know it.

You are drawn to a cross section of people. You friends play different roles in your life.

You are like a cupcake because you are are deceptively simple. There's actually a lot to you!

There are many ingredients in your life, and you only want them in proper amounts. Being you is a delicate art.

The Forgotten

I am the forgotten, lost in the dawning day
Found in the serene darkness shared but by few
The web woven by the living in the daylight hours
Strangles me to silence until there is no breath
And the unbearable darkness within my soul
Screams for death.

I am the forgotten, lost in a darkened room
Remembered only in the harsh light of day
The web woven by the dead in the darkest hours
Strangles me to silence until there is no breath
And the unbearable light within my soul
Sobs for death.

cki Aug 20 2010

Please, please do not worry about me.  I have written dark matter before this, but never shared it because it is not where I dwell. For some reason this year, the journey has been out of my hands and I lingered far too long in a rather dark place. This darkness is a part of me, but not who I am. Sorry, I have no other way to explain it.  (As a note of interest, there is another stanza, but I have chosen to omit it for its slightly bleak content.) Please also note that I am still uncomfortable about sharing this, but I had to ask "For what purpose did I write it then?" If it's crap, it's crap. If it means something to someone other than myself, then it wasn't a waste of space.

This is by far the greatest distance I have gone outside of my safe-zone. This being so, I would greatly appreciate you sharing your thoughts. If you are uncomfortable with doing so in the comment box, please do not hesitate to email:

This is one of those posts that I am thinking of deleting instead of putting out there...

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Knight and Day

Movie Review:

So I'd gone out to see what movies had been released on DVD and knew that I wanted, or needed, to watch something light and fluffy or maybe just action. Scanning the shelves there were a few that I had been thinking of watching, but I settled on Knight and Day.

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.... weird combination, so wasn't expecting too much from this one. I was just hoping that it would be remotely entertaining. What can I say...  it cracked me up. Little nuances and motions here and there from Mr. Cruise, and comic throw-ins by the writer, Patrick O'Neill fit the bill. I looked the latter up on IMDb and noted that he had acted in a couple of John Cusack movies, starting as far back as "Say Anything" (a personal favourite from way back when), all the way to Grosse Pointe Blank (another fave). From the scoring and the set-up of the first fight scene ten minutes in... this had to be a fun ride. 

I have liked Tom Cruise since I first saw him thirty years ago... something about his cocky and assured attitude that hasn't seemed to have faded at all. He definitely doesn't disappoint in this movie, handing out straight-faced dialogue and instructions to a panicky Cameron Diaz, who, as usual lights up the screen with her huge smile. Her trademark talking to herself, cluelessness and hysterics fit well here... and she gets to straddle Tom Cruise on a motorcycle whilst firing TWO guns. Cruise does his signature run two times, and also has a couple shirtless scenes. For whatever reason, him emerging out of the ocean in swim trunks isn't quite on par with Daniel Craig from Casino Royale. I don't know what it is, but his body looks a little fake, almost like a GI Joe doll, if I remember correctly. 

The director of this movie is James Mangold, who also directed "3:10 to Yuma", a Russell Crowe/Christian Bale western, and "Kate & Leopold" a Meg Ryan/Hugh Jackman romantic comedy. So he has worked with some great actors. Besides Cruise and Diaz in this film, included in the supporting cast there is Peter Sarsgaard, whose voice so reminds me of John Malkovich, and oddly enough, played Malkovich's son in "The Man in the Iron Mask", as well as Marc Blucas, the cutie who played Riley Finn in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, this time sporting a ridiculous looking moustache as a rather dimwitted fireman.

A few little things that caught my attention or made me laugh:

Scarecrow on window
Motorcyle to water, helmet to car
A guy hanging on by a sausage...
"If anyone follows, I'm going to kill myself and then her."
"I think I can get you in and out of some clothes without looking."

Like I said, I wasn't expecting much... but it turned out to be just what I needed.

Simple Pleasures...

It is a rather chilly, dreary Sunday, and I feel like sharing....
(Oops, sorry, the box of Ritz crackers is backwards...)

More often than not, baking a deep, dark chocolate cake and slathering it with buttercream frosting or chocolate ganache isn't quite fitting for single unit consumption, and as such, I have on occasion devised quick and simple solutions to fill the void where that chocolate cake should be. This one is extremely easy, with just three ingredients. (Hmm... I was jus is actually a crude version of a Nanaimo Bar.) Don't laugh before you try it.

100% Whole GRAIN Ritz Crackers (NO substitutions)
Becel (the one with olive oil) (Butter would be better, but...)
Lindt Chili Dark Chocolate (or Sea Salt Dark Chocolate)
Yup, that's it. No nuking, stirring or baking. Dab or slather the Becel on the cracker, top with piece of dark chocolate and nibble or munch away as your heart desires. This simple snack should satisfy both sweet and salty sides, however, it is just as much about texture as it is taste. If you try it out, let me know what you please... (feedback... heh.)  Someone must have tried this combo before.

Saturday, December 11, 2010


Christmas last year was a little tough to get in the spirit, and it was the first year EVER that I did NOT have a REAL tree. Christmas this year seems to be a little tougher, due to a number of factors, including but not limited to house interior logistics, i.e. where can I put a tree with all this extra s...stuff? (The extra stuff is a long story which I cannot share on the blog.) This picture is misleading.... the tree is less than four feet tall.  So to add a bit of height and brightness, I decided to put twinkle lights at the base as well, together with sparkly garlands and baubles. Now, even though I rarely go into this room, it was the only place that I could find enough space, and, bonus, I can see the lights on the tree from the kitchen. It didn't turn out too badly, but it is missing a lot of ornaments, some of which (the vintage glass ones) were not where they were supposed to be. It would seem that I put them somewhere other than in their designated box last year amidst the carfuffle.

Christmas was... is... my thing. When I was living at home, I would pick out a tree (with dad's help), drag it in the house, put it up and decorate it. Over a few years, I slowly bought lights and ornaments so the tree could grow out of the brightly coloured, foil reflector, felt ornament, little kid look. One year I decided that I did not like the coloured Christmas lights that dad put up on the house every year, so I went out and bought clear bulbs, dragged the big ladder out, and in the below freezing weather, changed every single bulb along the roofline, which luckily was straight.  My dad took a while to notice, but he then went and changed them back. I do know that I changed them once more after that, but I honestly do not remember if I won the battle or if he did.

We always had a great Turkey dinner at Christmas (see here for details), and then New Years Day was the BIG all out food day where mom put together a huge buffet style spread. Of course when I was a kid, I did NOT appreciate the ethnicity of some of the food she cooked on that particular day of the year, but I sometimes wish that I had enjoyed it more back then. I sure as heck miss it now. Mom has been gone ten years today. She never got to see me in my own place, nor start my business, or create Christmas in my own home, nor did she get to come over and share a meal, but... I am oddly comforted by the fact that she did not have to see me fail nor struggle as I have in the past year.


to everyone.... especially all those who are far from home or missing family and friends, for whatever reason.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Thursday, December 9, 2010


I don't know how many times in life I have whispered the words "I am lost", not fully grasping their depth until this year.  Even though now, there are no grand difficulties thrust upon me (but perhaps one) nor obstacles in my path, there is just... the unknown. All I can think of to say about the unknown is this: It is easier to prepare for something than it is to prepare for nothing.

Oddly enough, I  have come to realize that the words "my path" have never really come up before this year either. But, I must ask... what good is a path without purpose? To put one foot in front of the other to make your way down a road to some unknown destination? I find that hard to accept... and at this point I am finding it more difficult to even find a road on which to take the first step. However, that being said, to have been one thing, in one place, for so many years, to have put one foot in front of the other, but ultimately staying in one position, was that easier to accept? For some reason, yes, it was. I had a job to do, I had tasks to complete, I had deadlines, I had structure, I had a purpose, and that was... sufficient.  When that came to a rather abrupt end, I somehow found a sense of peace and quiet reflection, but now... more often than I should, I find myself...  truly lost.


Well... What can I say about the latest offering from Disturbed? I'm a little late to the party, but I don't get out much. From start to finish I haven't been able to stop listening to it.  With this album, titled Asylum, they have now officially reached the "comfort music" stage for me. They have been on my radar since I heard them way back, with their songs, Stupify and Down with the Sickness. I can't really recall anything else from in between times, but that's just the way my memory is. However, I do remember that they had done a cover of Shout by Tears for Fears, one of my favourite bands from the 80s.  And... at the very end of the latest CD, they added a bonus track... a cover of U2's (another fave) Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (interesting choice). But alas, I have to say that neither cover works for me. They just weren't meant to be done. (Unlike the Deftones version of Duran Duran's The Chauffeur which is ... perhaps the best cover ever.)

I have to admit that after the 80s and 90s, with any of the music I listened to, I never paid much attention to the band members, the videos, the marketing... it was just about the music. However, there are certain bands of which I have a limited knowledge... like perhaps some of the band members names. That being said,  James Hetfield of Metallica, Jonathon Davis of Korn, Chino of the Deftones and David Draiman of Disturbed each have their own unique style, whether it be growly, gruff, guttural or throat swelling. Of these four singers, David Draiman has the purest voice... I have no other way to put it. Take away the affectations of them all, and his is... just... pure. But I digress. This is a great album.

I have no idea which singles have been released, but the Title track keeps drawing me back:

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Scottish Zen...

What does that mean... Scottish Zen? I called it this for two reasons. Hmm... You'll have to watch the video and see for yourself. My prior thoughts regarding Zen can be found here in case you are wondering what the heck this has to do with me, which in actual fact is very little considering my lack of biking ability. So I wonder, is it wrong to admire someone else's Zen? "A philosophy of calm...; Extremely relaxed and collected."

It was posted over here.

Love is not a commonly used word in my world... but
 I can honestly say that I love this for so many reasons.


Objects may appear to be closer than they are...

The last picture, shot from my kitchen window, is deceiving as I had to zoom in as close as possible to avoid the house across the street. The little curvy line is a pine needle that was stuck to the outside of the glass.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Peanut Butter...

My big sis relates a story to me of a time when I was a little kid, maybe 3 years old, and I wanted the peanut butter from the cupboard but couldn't reach it. She tells me that I stood there in the kitchen, lifted up my arms and said... "Peanut butter come to me."

So when I did another one of those silly quizzes, "What kind of brownie are you?", the answer brought to mind that story.

You are a decadent person who loves to treat yourself. No indulgence is too great for you. (UH... NOT anymore.)

You are easily comforted by your favorite foods, movies, and music. You feel content with your life. (Hmm... REALLY?)

You get along well with other people, even if you all have strong personalities. You are very cooperative. (SURE...  If you say so.)

You are a homebody. You like to feel cozy, even when you're not at home. You prefer comfortable restaurants to fancy ones. (AND the nearest fancy restaurant is... where exactly?)