27 years ago I heard a song for the first time, and in that very moment I thought to myself "this is it", the be all and end all of songs. There would never be another song quite like this. There may have been others that have hit me in a similar fashion since then, but with my dwindling memory, that is the one which remains most embedded. The past decade in the music industry has not yielded a great deal to draw me in, as there didn't seem to be much character in the offering. Then this song, in all its bare simplicity came along to prove me wrong.
So as I yet struggle to find meaning, to find purpose, to find a place where I do not feel the life being sucked right out of me, I suppose this song's evocative nature came to my attention in a timely manner. And on that note, if you have taken the time to read this far, take a stroll through the blog as it lays dying. Say something. Where you are from or something.
I fell through the cracks of my own life. The fractured shell can either hold together or disintegrate. Exist or disappear. There is no living here. Another day, another night. In that murky darkness before dawn is when those fractures come to light. And so I write.
Made to feel small by someone else's words at work this morning. Feeling terribly small now. Trying to find meaning in life by playing Tetris and speeding up the blocks. Losing.
Mom would have been 79 years old today. She's been gone almost 14 years now. I am not one to ponder what her advice or thoughts would be on matters, but today it crossed my mind. I wonder what she would have to say about all this.
Tetris is my metaphor for life. The blocks continue to fall, but leaving too many empty spaces. Now they are speeding up, falling at a faster rate, leaving even more empty and I'm running out of time to make something fit so I can keep going before the game ends.
That was quite a departure. But sometimes, just sometimes, things bother me long enough to say something, without explanation. Such was the case with the previous post.
I have no idea what I'm doing here (life) or here (blog). It is funny to think now, that I used to feel a need to blog. Yes... a need. I could be sleep deprived, wide awake in the dark, or sleepy as heck with my head flopping and eyes glazing over, but I would make myself type. Now, this is like the quiet place where I come just to say... I am still here.
Peace Activists and Human Rights Activists, all well and good on this soft, cushy side of the world. We've heard it all before... "Peace now!" "Why can't there be peace?" ... and "War is not the solution." We've been down this road before. Perhaps war is not the solution, but sometimes... it is the only answer. You can't just sign a Facebook petition to stop an Islamic fundamentalist from beheading someone. You can't simply sign a petition and force someone to cease being a religious extremist. How can you find peace with a man or woman veiled in the guise of religious freedom... a religion not tempered by logic... a religion that has not changed nor evolved in over a thousand years... a religion oftentimes fueled by hatred...