Friday, January 29, 2016
Something caught my ear the other day whilst watching a movie. I'd seen it several times over the years, having it on both VHS from somewhen, as well as on DVD. A lot of military portrayed in the movie, but, it being science-fiction, I hadn't really paid much attention. From just watching it the first time, way back, I knew that Steve is a pilot and had applied to NASA, but was turned down. This time, I caught in dialogue, that he introduces himself as ... US Marine Corps. Later on, I see the wings on his chest. He also introduces himself a second time as US Marine Corps. I just found it odd.
(I think it makes a big difference watching a movie on a laptop that is right in front of your face, as opposed to on a tv screen, or in a movie theatre. Sure, you might catch things, but then you also miss out on the all around movie experience.)
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
My passport expires in 2017. The whole point of wasting money on the damn thing was so that I would actually go somewhere so that I wouldn't have wasted money on the damn thing. So far, no go. (See what I did there?) I guess when I was younger, I just figured that I would go places. I got my first passport to go on a high school trip to France. Two weeks. You had to get a new one issued every five years, so I did that. I went on two vacations in the 90s. After that.. nothing. And then on a whim, I decided to splurge on the new one in 2012, because ... I figured I was going places. And then more twists and turns in life (ie having to borrow more money to pay for things that weren't expected nor planned on) laid a heavy hand on any thoughts of travel. Last year it was the hot water tank that died, and then in December the washer and dryer needed to be replaced. Still haven't had the dental work done that the dentist recommended three years ago. Things don't look very promising. Oh... the other point of getting a new passport was the off-chance that I would get out to meet a fellow blogger.
Friday, January 8, 2016
Thursday, January 7, 2016
I had walked in the pouring rain. I was alone. It was a Saturday and I wasn't sure if I would go, but it just felt like something I had to do. I entered the hall, soaking wet, signed the guestbook and found a seat at the end of one of the tables. There were people there who I'd gone to school with, but, for the most part, didn't talk to anyone, and no one approached for conversation, which I was fine with. After all it had been over thirty years. The family had left a lot of time for mingling before the memorial aspect began. I didn't know who his parents were, but I knew immediately his nephews by their faces and posture. It was uncanny. An older gentleman sat down next to me and his wife across the table. Listening quietly to bits and pieces of conversations, trying to figure out who was who, I said to the older fellow, that I should know who he was, but that I couldn't place his name. He told me, and who his daughter was and that she had gone to school with the younger brother of the deceased. I said that yes, I knew the name, but that I had gone to school with the older boy (the deceased). Anyway, he was a nice fellow, this older gentleman, with a beaming personality, offering to get his wife and a friend a coffee, and even asking me at some point as well. The "celebration of life" began, with one of the brothers speaking, breaking down (I... me... was tempted to go up there and give him a hug... thinking to myself... why isn't anyone going up there to offer support?), followed by the mc, an old friend of his, all these years. I was impressed by how retrospectively comprehensive he was in his speech, and how held together he was. When he finished and the lights were dimmed, there were chuckles and sniffling in the dark as the images of life played on the screen. Afterwards, my shirt sleeve wet from wiping my eyes, I went to take a look at the in memoriam table of this boy I remembered from so long ago. I went to say hello to a familiar face or two, got a hug and had a couple chats before heading home.
I was reading the newspaper the other day and found out the details of a local fellow who had died in a vehicle crash a few days before Christmas. It was the older gentleman who had sat down beside me at that celebration of life.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Monday, January 4, 2016
Sunday, January 3, 2016
It is a new year, a new you. Right. Although, upon further thought, perhaps this is correct. I have lost who I am. Whatever was is gone.
I sit here with the remnants of Christmas dimly lighting the room. I stare at the ceiling. No thoughts buzz and rush through my head in this almost catatonic state. Ears ringing, a quiet turmoil fills my chest and I implode in silence. Tears fall slowly, mimicking the passage of time.