Ravenous...

I went to bed early. I have tried to do this a number of times to see if I could re-regulate my sleep patterns, however to no avail. I would go to bed early and lie awake in the darkness for one, two, sometimes three hours.... The darkness fed my alertness, but... not in a paranoid (there are aliens outside my window), frightened (there's a monster in my closet) manner however. The darkness made me feel alive and awake, regardless of how tired I was just moments before. But...  I would eventually fall asleep and then wake up after 3 or 4 hours and still feel tired, but there was no way I could try to fall asleep again... Well.. I did try, but it never worked.

Last night, I went to bed at 10:50pm. After what seemed a couple hours, I crawled towards the side of the bed to check the time on the cell phone sitting on the desk... I nearly fell off the bed... I had miscalculated where I was. It was 11:45pm ... only an hour had passed. I have this ability where I can clear my mind of all thought, all worries, everything... lie still and breathe... Most certainly you might think that this would be the perfect solution for falling asleep... but nooooo... That is not how it works for me now. This time, I think I did fall asleep fairly quickly, and .. I woke up... wide awake... in the dark.... checked the time: 3:56AM. Hmmm... I was awake, but figured I would try to sleep more.. try... 4:37... try... try... 6:00... I had lain there on that bed in the dark in the wee small hours of the morning... not worrying about the gas bill, hydro bill, phone bill, taxes, insurance, utilities, what the heck I was going to do with my life... none of that... Nothing even remotely close to that.

I was just... ravenous. I don’t mean your garden variety craving ... I mean ravenous... I could eat two roasted chickens .. or a steak and a pizza... THAT type of hunger. But it was not even these things... All I could think about was bacon, pork sausages, scrambled eggs with Tabasco sauce, hashbrowns with ketchup, buttered toast with raspberry jelly and a glass of orange juice... I thought to myself... what will I eat when I get up? Oatmeal and toast or bran flakes. The yearning vanished fairly soon after that.

So at 6AM on a Sunday morning, I went on the laptop to write a few things down, and finish the Sudoku which for some reason I was unable to complete last night. I did a quick post, played around and read blogs and thought to myself.. it IS Sunday after all... Why not just try to sleep some more? Dangerous... I know. But how much so? Not much luck on the falling sleep, so I got up again to read some more blogs. No emails from anyone and nothing that interesting posted... so I closed the lid, left the lights on and figured I would just rest for a few more minutes... but it was lights out for me.... I woke up at 1:07PM. Good God! That might be only the second time in my adult life I have ever done that.

Interesting thing though, is that while I was trying to fall asleep the second time... I was lying there in bed thinking about a post I had done called “The Pointy End of the Sword”, and a comment by Harvey, and then my reply. In regards to my thoughts on “perpetuating the human species” and Harvey’s reflection on “perpetuating A human life”... I still disagreed, but then I thought... if I sleep, then on a cellular level aren't I? .. Somewhere along that train of thought... it felt like I was opening a whole new can of Chef-boyardee Spaghetti with Meatballs.