What can I say about this movie. Blood, guts, brutal, beautiful, surreal, but most of all just plain weird. This is not really a movie... it is a TRIP through bone-crunching slow-paced action and beautiful almost still shots, mixed with intentional painstaking nothingness. If you are someone who cannot sit still, this is not a movie for you. It doesn't know if it wants to be an art piece or a documentary, an action movie or silent picture... of course that could have been the desired effect, but that doesn't make it any easier to swallow.
I knew nothing about the film except that Mads Mikkelsen (Casino Royale and King Arthur) was in it. So not knowing what to expect of it was probably a small blessing. During an excruciatingly long boat scene, I knew where the movie was headed and what the end result of the story would be, but by that time I had no idea how exactly we were going to get there. I just knew the remaining journey would be... odd, and in that respect it didn't disappoint. With a title like "Valhalla Rising" and a picture of a shirtless, tattooed Mads on the cover, I couldn't resist, but I can't recommend it, even though there are some brilliant shots, gritty action bits, and strikingly beautiful landscapes.