Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Metallica made me cry...

I was listening to Metallica tonight to mellow out and when Unforgiven came up I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.... What the? I sat for a moment in utter disbelief, but I then realized that when I first heard it maybe eighteen years ago the song itself had such a different meaning for me then, and the words, though powerful to me so long ago, are even moreso today.

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me

So in my stroll down memory lane, I remember the first time I saw them in concert was 1992, but I don't remember much of anything from the concert itself, except that it was great and that James Hetfield's speaking voice sounded so nerdy. I was in my twenties and I had ended up going to it with the fourteen year old son of one of my brother's friends. He really wanted to go and ... none of my friends did. I don't recall ever having seen the boy after that, but one of my nephews is named after him, and I do know that I had a rather bizarre phone conversation with him the night my mom died. Funny thing is, I think I still have the concert t-shirt somewhere... maybe even the ticket stub.  



thormoo said...

That song has always had profound effect on me as well. I first saw them in concert and really started listening to them about the same time you did (1992 though I was 30 and not in my 20's, lol)and could relate to those lyrics in my own way then. I was attracted to anything I could relate to and I certainly could relate to those lyrics, quite sad for a man of 30, with 2 young kids embarking on a new journey of marriage with the person I thought was the love of my life...Today I still very much relate but it's from a much different perspective...I see the alternative side and I don't feel to the need to accept the regret, I'm actually in the process of reconciling myself to those things I regret. It is a form of acceptance I suppose: they happened, I cannot change them and I will look for whatever positives I can from those experiences. Easier said then done, yes but I continue to strive in that direction. It's kind of weird but I'm used to falling back on the dark side of it all, accepting the inevitability of pain, sadness, hurt and unrepentant darkness. Today I at least turn and look for the light...

Spockgirl said...

Thanks for commenting on this one. I first started listening to them in '85 or '86, but at THAT time there was NO way I would have gone to a metal concert. In retrospect I am very glad that it was the release of that album that prompted me to go to their concert in '92. I listened it to pieces over the years.

As for Unforgiven... back then, the words were growled about someone else, but now... different part of the song... reflects me.

From what you've written on your blog, I can clearly see how this song would speak to you.