Winding down...

I don't know what it is. In all the years past, as far as I know, it was never really a big deal when it came to New Year's Eve, and the beginning of a new year. Except perhaps when we were kids helping mom with all the food for the open house. By the same token, as an adult, when everyone else was rather excited about the approach of summer vacation, it wasn't really all that to me, but rather a simple change of season. There was no anticipated "time-off" or planned playtime. It was just life (or work) as usual. You know how some people lose track of time during the day? I rarely do that. I lose track of time by the year, albeit after the fact as opposed to "during". I was just thinking that two years ago on New Year's Eve, at the stroke of midnight... I was sitting on the floor of my store alone, packing up the last few remnants to take home. The place that I had scraped and painted and filled up to the brim was completely empty, as I did one last walk around to make sure that I hadn't missed anything. I don't think I was even depressed about it. (That came a few months later.) Now... for some reason, this year, for the first time, it actually feels as though the year is winding down... my life, such as it is or not, drawing to a close.