Today... I sat here marvelling at the pleasure of watching the tendrils of steam rise from my cup of tea. I don't honestly know which is more amazing... that I sat down to drink something, or that I am actually drinking tea, or that I marvelled, or that I found pleasure in it. I'm not much of a tea drinker, but my cupboard is well-stocked with quite a variety. I suppose this is as much for the odd occasion when I used to have family over for dinner and the only way to keep them warm would be to offer them thick wool socks and a sweater, or boil up a pot of water for some hot tea. As I sit here in quiet contemplation, I notice that the steam has subsided and the tea is now merely warm, but so many thoughts have been conjured ... stirred up from that one simple moment.
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Earlier this morning I remembered the leftover fried chicken sitting in the fridge, of which I would have the joy of partaking today. At lunch, after thoroughly enjoying the drumstick, I picked up the thigh piece, or whatever it was, looked at it... and thought to myself.... I should save this for dinner. This one little reaction caused a wave of thoughts to come crashing into my mind... one in succession after another... perhaps too quickly for me to process and remember. Then... I ate it.
I was thinking that perhaps this is how I have always been... to save things... to save things for later... to save things so at least there would be something good left for later. Just in case...
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My cup of Chai Green Tea to which I had added lavender honey for a sweet twist... is now cold. As I sit in the quiet stillness... I wonder... is it too late... or is it even possible... to have something sweet and fun... in what is left of this life?
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Hmm... It would appear that my brain-sharing filter or perhaps my emotion inhibitors must have been damaged ... by that damn cup of tea.
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4 comments:
I enjoyed sitting here, not drinking tea nor eating chicken though I kinda wish I was and reading this post...
T:
A part of me wanted to stop after writing that very first sentence. A part of me still thinks I should have.
"I was thinking that perhaps this is how I have always been... to save things... to save things for later... to save things so at least there would be something good left for later. Just in case..."
I have a similar overpowering urge from time to time. I simply hate running out of something I like and having to do without it. I could blame my less-than-posh childhood. I could blame living on aircraft carrier for 4 years (where nice things are in short supply).
But I'll be optimistic, and say that it exemplifies the maturity required to fully grok the concept of "delayed gratification".
Now, SG, as for stopping after the first sentence, I'm glad you didn't, because then you wouldn't have posted the sentence I quoted, and I wouldn't have left this comment, an we would've missed this moment.
Which would've been a shame.
Thank you for the kind comment Harvey.
In regards to "delayed gratification"... I am not and have never been, as far as I know, an "instant gratification" type of person. If I was, I would probably be dead by now. However... I must say that I just could NOT pass up that second piece of fried chicken... I had it in my hand... staring at it for a moment... and I was overtaken by my inner Foghorn Leghorn.
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