Photo June 2010
At last, a spring day with a hint of summer. The grass is long, the wind was light, the sun ... soothing to the body and soul. In my quiet peaceful little corner of the world, I have in the past couple years found myself absorbing the tranquility and warmth (when it finally arrives) thinking "people would die to be where I am"... followed by the inevitable... "people have died for me to be where I am". Others before me have scratched and fought and forged ahead and died so that I could have this little space to call my own. I also take into consideration that less than one hundred years or so ago I wouldn't have been allowed to even "have" this little corner of the world in the first place. It has also been only sixty odd years since I, or should I say my kith and kin, were allowed to vote...
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Once again, I have been contemplating life and death and other whatnot... trying to feel inspired to live life instead of just exist it. At times, even the existing part of it began to wear thin and I went far beyond my personal boundaries to share that part of my non-journey in the past year or so. I struggle yet with the unknown. A small part of me believes that everything will turn out for the best... but the realistic, cynical side of me does not see the light at the end of the tunnel...
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When I was writing this today, I was thinking about my sanctuary here in the real physical realm, and of people who will never know the peace that I have. I have thought about this many times and how I might impart some of this peace or share this sanctuary with others struggling with their own unknowns. I then realized that I had very recently visited similar thoughts here and had already written something called Sanctuary. Hopefully at some point I will stop standing still and going around in circles and then maybe, just maybe, figure out what I can do.
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9 comments:
This may or it may not apply to your situation SG, only time will tell. I have discovered that you don't necessarily always see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's still there, just around a bend. I use to be really cynical, even when I did see light at the end of the tunnel I would always just assume it was another train coming my way!
I still can be cynical about things thinking "that won't happen!", yet it does.
T:
I am actually less cynical now than I was when I was much younger. By "Light at the end of the tunnel", I was thinking more on the lines of a glimmer of light to guide me. The end itself doesn't really matter at this point, as much as simply finding my way.
I see what your talking about. I often feel even today that I am operating with out any kind of "guiding light" but then things seem to work out. My recent interest in spiritual matters has certainly impacted that in a positive manner yet the old cynic in me still approaches every new situation with trepidation, skepticism and doubt yet that is something I'm actively looking at changing in my life.
SG,
Thank you - your layering of portions of the physical and emotional havens reminds me of a lighthouse abutting a sea of anomie.
SG,
That anonymous was me. Too quick on the click! Egads...
DaveO
Dave:
Darn... there was a certain air of mystery when I read the comment from Anonymous. And... a rare occasion where I learned a new word... "anomie"... Thank you.
T:
I am rather a contradiction in terms, as I am an open-minded skeptic and cynic, with a "whatever will be will be" type of attitude. In other words, I tread lightly and carry a big stick that no one can see.
Its easy to be a little cynical living in this world, nothing wrong in that. Take care.
Ryan:
You're back! I saw the "Sorry We're Open" sign on your blog, but hadn't been able to post any comment.
I find that I am sort of letting the cynical side slide just a smidge.
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