How is it that I can feel at such odds with myself but remain so calm? My stomach churns, my head spins and my eyes burn, but the chaos within no longer drags me to the floor. I feel sick that I am unable to move yet I am at peace with where I be. How is this possible?
Somewhere in my memory the words "I don't care." float around almost like a quiet mantra from the past, referring to how I felt about life in general when I was much younger. Now, today, at this moment, I came to realize that what it truly meant was "I don't care... what happens to me."
That one sentence encompasses the "How" and the "Why" of my entire existence... The how and the why I have not lived my life. The how and the why I feel that I wasted this soul.