It is a sad, sad state of affairs when I wake up in the morning and one of the first few thoughts that run through my mind is "What the hell is wrong with me?" However, all things considered, I suppose this is a step up from waking up in bed, contemplating the day and saying "What's the point?" So, thusly I deem that progress has been made. Yet still I struggle... with the unknown... I'm somewhere in the middle of the sidebar of life. And... no one reads the sidebar.
When there is no battle to prepare for, no foe, no fight, nothing at the top of the mountain, no road to choose, no deadline, no target, no goal... what exactly is there? And, so, the question had arisen, "What's the point?". Some time passed and I came to accept that there are certain uncertainties and that I still must find a way to coexist with these unknown quantities. But then in moments of peace found in bed, the warmest, safest place to be... the mind began to wander and took me to places that perhaps I shouldn't have gone. And... thus, the newly formed question was "What the hell is wrong with me?"
In pondering this further, what came to mind was the 'Banana" video that I posted the other day. At the beginning when the minion opens his lunchbox and closes it again... the dilemma, the inner struggle... and ultimately the resignation... the giving in to the power of the ... banana. I must admit, that is how I feel, and perhaps even how I sound on occasion... The only problem is... I haven't found my banana yet. What IS my damn banana?