Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Expendables

Movie Review:

Two words:  Jason Statham. He of Transporter and Crank fame... but, who prior to those movies, caught my eye and fancy in "Mean Machine", an hilarious Brit flick on my favourites list. Check it out if you can find it.  In the Expendables, there are some other actors involved, but this guy is worth the price of admission alone.

Starring, co-written and directed by Stallone, this film has a larger than life cast. It is a mindless ride with an interesting storyline. If the plot fails on any level, we, as the audience must forgive the writers. As for the cast: Stallone's aging body still looks pretty buff, but his face has not fared so well (At 64, he is the same age as Cher! and is the oldest guy in the cast). Dolph Lundgren, still tall and menacing, at 53 has not aged well at all. Jet Li at 47 is still a cutie. Eric Roberts at 54 still looks every bit a psycho in a suit. Randy Couture, MMA or wrestling?, at 47 just seems worn out, which I believe was intentional. Steve Austin of wrestling fame, at 46 does quite well playing the heavy muscle (I don't recall if he has any lines), and Gary Daniels at 47 has been thrown in as a minor bad guy, who still required two good guys to take down (or was it 3 or 2 1/2?). Charisma Carpenter, made famous as Cordelia in Buffy the Vampire Slayer plays Statham's girlfriend in a predictable scene, but give me a break... he had been gone for only a month and she moved on. Geesh. And... almost forgot the token fiery, independent female played by Giselle Itie who is, get this... 36 years younger than Stallone.

For my quick review, please pardon my language in part, albeit in abbreviated form, and used only for the purpose of hyperbole. This movie has: motorcycles, Somali pirates (yes there are pirates in the modern day naval world), a BFG, some splitting human parts, a rather uncomfortable, if not funny, Bruce Willis and Arnold scene, a Statham knife fight, a very cool plane used to great effect in causing a BFE, a sensitive Mickey Rourke scene with a close-up (agh), a cool black truck, a Li and Lundgren fight (could the little guy have win?), waterboarding, a bigger BFG, a rather ridiculous quantity of closely spaced explosives,  some more BFEs, a very well done Stallone and Steven Austin fight sequence, and a bit more stuff. So if one or two tense moments or scenes come across as somewhat constipated, we, as the audience will forgive those as well. 
Bonus:  There is a gag reel and a great behind the scenes look.


T1G said...

I freakin' loved this movie. Yep, it was kinda lame in some respects, but overall, it was much better than expected. Although I'm sure that my appreciation of Statham is totally different than yours (:)), I love most of his movies... and this one is made by him. Stallone? Until he was "running" down the pier, I though he did alright...

And I've lost track of my gibberish, now...

Spockgirl said...

My appreciation of Statham goes WAY beyond him just being a GUY with a six pack. Oh.. and I did notice Stallone "running" also.. but give the guy a break... he's 64 and he was injured on set. I think the only thing the movie was missing was Van Damme, but his ego probably cost too much.

Tough weekend eh?

T1G said...

Um... kinda so.

Statham... loved his Guy Ritchie flicks... busted me up, as well as great acting.

Vab Dumme would have been cool to see in this flick, but you've got it pegged... he woulda asked prime pennies.

T1G said...

Oops... that would be Van, not Vab.

Spockgirl said...

Methinks you need to get more sleep. You know at your age, your body won't be able to recover as quickly as it used to.