Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

What's the use?

You live and then you die. What if the in between stuff isn't worth it? What if there IS no in between stuff? Effort after foolishness and all that rot. I've been wanting to say "I give up" so many times in the last little while, on this, that and everything, such that it has been sitting on the tip of my tongue, an unplayed prelude to a song without words. What came to mind just now is that the day "I give up" will be my last day on this planet. Why am I here?

(ps: I am fine. Just having one of those moments.)

2 comments:

DaveO said...

Glad you're okay and just having a moment of existential mustard.

No snunch for me today, thanks. I'm trying to quit. Still... egg salad and spinach wraps are sooo... good. Yes. Yes, they are and I need one...

Alas, the Scylla of yumminess and the Charybdis of carbs - a treacherous if navigable strait.

Your musings on the absence of pain make sense, but I can't find documentation in order to make a decent literature review.

The kicker about it is the folks that report this also report trying to inflict yet more pain in order to overcome numbness. It's a mystery, not unlike the relationship between the Zuni, Hopi, and the kachina.

Spockgirl said...

Existential mustard. I like the sound of that. Oh... funny you should mention egg salad... On about the fifth day of our heatwave, I felt like having egg salad, so with no AC and no air circulation in the house... I was hard-boiling eggs, contributing to the wonderful humidity.

(Scylla and Charybdis... reminds me of a Police song.)

Ah... and yes... I was going to mention the bit about inflicting harm upon oneself to take away the numbness... to feel something... anything. Been thinking about this... The mind shuts down as a form of self-protection, and in doing so, creates a black hole of feeling and emotion. You try to claw and dig your way out of that black hole, but at some point, you get sucked into it completely... and become it.