Fits and starts

 

That's just how it feels. Having been lost in the netherworld of my head for a time, struggling to formulate thoughts. Actually for that matter, not having any thoughts at all at times. At least the "heavy" seems to be gone... No longer this oppressive weight pressing down on my soul. I liken it now to a ... I don't know... You know when you get X-rayed at the dentist and they put that protective blanket over you? Kind of like that, but all over the body. The head is free to move, but you have to keep it still. So just not feelin' it and then... bam... five posts in one day. And then... back to blah. As I said... fits and starts.

At least I'm breathing.

 

***

 

I fell into a rather deep sleep today. At... get this... 7PM!!! Slept for almost two hours. Too bad I can't fall asleep like that when it is actually bedtime... or... when I am actually IN bed. (I fell asleep in the laundry room. No, not on the floor, there's a couch in there.) I have had a couple days of solid sleep, but again... it mostly comes chopped into sections.

***

To live or to die. Dying seems the more feasible choice, but living has more options available. I still haven't quite figured out what those options are.

My head feels as though it is going to implode.

***

I've been thinking about ... pizza... Thin-crust, just cheese, or maybe a New York Deli... It has been on my mind for about a month now. I wants it.

***

I just went completely blank.