Pardon me...

I am sitting inside on a beautiful sunny day. Waiting. Always waiting. Waiting for customers, waiting for other people... always waiting. Waiting for phone calls and faxes, instructions and documentation... waiting for the day to end so I could do it again the next day. That was easier. That was living... or so I fooled myself into accepting, or believing...  Seems like a lifetime ago. Still waiting. Only now there is ... the wondering...

The other night my thoughts wandered into wondering...  Was my life a mistake? My entire life? I have written about this before... Would I have done anything different? No. Then how could it have been a mistake? I could have changed it. I could have done something different.  I could have, but I didn't and I wouldn't even now. In retrospect, I'm not even sure I would have ever considered saying "F*** it, I should ..." That is the point... what would have followed the word "should".... I do not know. Never will. To be honest, I never would have even bothered to think it.  But lately... especially on a day like today... a day both like and unlike so many before...  What the hell...  F*** it, this is stupid. I'm.... what?  I'm... closing shop...  I'm... going for a walk.   Yeah... wahoo...

Oh... and I was just thinking about a song...  Was going to post it, but ... Lou Reed couldn't sing worth sh**.

Oh... and ... pardon my language.