Thank you...

(via Facebook)

Merry

Christmas

"Chamomile was out of the question"

 

Saw this posted on Facebook. It cracked me up...  But I usually like to find another source, so from the material I picked out two key words not commonly used on a day to day basis, and my Googlefu gave me this at the top of the page.

 

Go ahead... take a guess... Which two words did I type into Google?

I did what?

The past month or so, the last dreams before waking have been more like personal life current affairs rather than the usual symbolic or metaphoric or whatever they are called. I never used to have real life type dreams before this year and the last. The interesting thing that I noticed is that the personal life dreams have all reflected my inadequacies in life at this time. This morning however, was not like that. It seemed to be real life, real time, but with a different character added, and not "here"  where I live. The strange thing though? I laughed in the dream. I have never laughed in a dream before.

 

"I love the smell of chicken in the morning,"

 

I said that in the dream. It cracked me up. (Movie reference.) We were laughing and then I said something else and we cracked up more. I woke up.

 

I didn't wake up laughing or smiling or feeling uplifted, but considering where my head was last night, that's pretty damn fine.

Heavy and empty...

 

Thirteen years ago today, I ended the day for the first time without my mom in my life. This year, this week, now, I seem to feel both heavy and empty. I've always had my Christmas lights up outside by now, but not this year for some reason. I just don't know.

 

This is what Facebook has done to me...

In memory of....

Lest ye forget...

Jimmy

His story here.

A little more here. (Scroll down to the second citation.)

Sometimes it is hard to see...

(Via Facebook)

 

"And life is locked inside you..."

I first heard this song 30 years ago. (I just checked and it actually was released in 1983.) It was one of those songs that struck a chord and stayed with me all this time. A couple years ago, I came across this video. No other words.

 

To put it bluntly...

(Came across this in Facebook yesterday.)

Speaking of strange...

July 24, 2013 5:25 p.m.

Strange sky...

 

... as seen from the yard later in the day.

 

Have never seen a prism in the clouds here before,

such as the one I saw today.

Summer Moon

 

This is what you see in the western sky when you fall asleep some time after 3 a.m., wake up sometime before 6 a.m., take the garbage to the curb, and decide to go for a walk because you are wide awake. (The sun hadn't yet risen above the mountains in the east.)

(July 24, 2013 6:42 a.m.)

 

 

The pic below was taken nine days prior, in the western sky as the sun was making its descent towards the mountains in the west/northwest.

(July 15, 2013 5:39 p.m.)

Dwindling...

ne·glect (n-glkt)

tr.v. ne·glect·ed, ne·glect·ing, ne·glects
1. To pay little or no attention to;
    fail to heed; disregard: 
2. To fail to care for or attend to properly:
3. To fail to do or carry out. 

n.
1. The act or an instance of neglecting
    something.
2. The state of being neglected.
3. Habitual lack of care.

Be water my friend...

I think I posted a video of the ping-pong footage before, but this has a bit more to it.


(I forgot to make note of the # of views the day I posted this. As of July 28, 2013, Views 317,028)

Rather interesting that it came up again and that I decided to post it... I just found out that he died 40 years ago, a week from today. The funny thing is that I had already chosen the title for this from something he said in the video, and was pondering how "zen" it seemed... I then remembered something I had written before and went searching for it... very interesting...

I've been waiting for this...

 

On the day of July 10, 2013, I had the lowest number of new visitors since perhaps the inception of this blog. Just one (1)... and it was someone in Serbia. I could be excited about an impending zero day, but that would just be sad.

I am well aware that

(Via Running to Nowhere on Facebook)

How?

 

If you cook an entire package of bacon at once, how can you not eat a piece? Can you stop at one?

 

(Bacon was on sale last week ... buy one get one free... I could not resist, and it was perfect timing as I had just come across a recipe for Baked Potato Salad... potato salad with all the fixings of a baked potato... I had to.)

Meanwhile, in the U.S...

(Via Pleated Jeans on Facebook)

 

Happy Independence Day

ye American brethren!

(... or the two peeps who still come by to visit here.)

 

Produit du Canada

Such as... me... and

these things.

 

Being that on this day we celebrate the confederation of our great nation, I figured I would share some things that were

And... here's a few more...

 

And... I was going to make a list of some of my favourite songs by Canadians, but shortly after starting the list, I realized it was getting a little too long and may have to revisit it.  

I am always here....

If you need help, ask... talk to someone. If you can't, then write... write to someone... Someone will listen.

I'm by your side...

Oddly enough...

(Via Facebook)

This was in the Facebook feed today. Oddly enough, today, yes, I admit... I was... Hey, it was a little hot and muggy. Speaking of underwear...

The path...

(Via Facebook)

Yes...

(Via Facebook)

To Dads...

(Via Facebook)

My kind of monster...

(Via Facebook)

The sleep of the dead...

There's something to be said about being dead

and the sense of calm that comes

with falling asleep at dawn

when the rest of the world has not yet risen

and daylight stands guard

one is overcome with divine serenity

enfolded in the silent gray stillness.

(I was going to call this "My Twilight Poetry"... because... heh... (bad pun deleted))

Light...

Heh... too funny... in and of itself, as well as that it came up today.

(Via Facebook)

Darkness...

I sat here in the dark with tears streaming down my face. I knew daylight was fading but hadn't realized that the house was now completely dark, illuminated only by the light of the laptop screen. My ears ringing, the soothing sound of Rush in the background. To read someone else's words and find that they are me... I closed the laptop and sat here in the dark with my forehead resting in the palm of my left hand. The pervading, persistent thought, like the ringing in my ears... I don't belong here.

There are some things I shall not forget to remember...

Today (yesterday now) in the U.S. was Memorial Day, which is more akin to our Remembrance Day (the date which used to be known as Armistice Day, but in the States became known as Veterans Day).

***

I have not been much in attendance here and have not had much interest in the activities which used to fill my time. I fear sometimes that I may be losing my mind. Not as in going insane, but rather losing more of the memories, thoughts and data that used to fill it. It is somewhat like I have unwittingly done so by letting go of superfluous information in simplifying the way I process things. Oddly enough, I do now, however, remember things that seem to be closer to my heart than my mind, such as this.

 

***

 

To honour the fallen since last time:

US (Guam (2), California (6), Massachusetts,

      Kansas, Oklahoma, New York (2), Idaho,

      Texas (2), Oregon, Colorado (2), Hawaii,

      Virginia (2), Kentucky (2), Washington,

      South Carolina (2), Pennsylvania (2),

      Tennessee, Puerto Rico, Florida, Indiana)

UK (4)

It may well be...

(Via Facebook)

Is it just me?

This song started to play and it reminded me of something else.

Giggles...

"Two Chips" / An Animated Short from Adam Patch on Vimeo.

Yes, it cracked me up ...

Indeed...

(Via Facebook)

One step at a time...

(Via Facebook)

Trois part deux and un trois...

Sequels that I will in all likelihood enjoy watching a great deal... (Yes, I had fun with the title.)

 


Red

How sad is that...

Nothing has changed in my life. The blog isn't being neglected due to a busier schedule, getting a life, or a deeper struggle. It's nothing... nor anything dramatic either. I think I stopped wishing for things a long time ago. I mean... really wishing for things... dreaming of things... wanting things. Maybe I just never did. Things like when you're a kid and you're asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? What do you dream of doing? Where do you picture yourself in twenty years. How about just expecting things of life in general? Getting married, having kids, taking a summer vacation. Things like that. Nope, none of it. And that's kind of sad in a way, but I just never thought about it.

 

I think I'm going backwards. The only thing is... life doesn't work that way.

 

I should have taken more than just the two vacations in twenty-two years. I should have taken more time off to enjoy life when I had the money. Woulda, shoulda, coulda... Ain't that the way.

 

Now? At this point in my life? I'd just settle for taking a mini vacay in Vegas to meet some blogger dude. Maybe I should take up a collection. How sad is that... 

Haven't found it yet...

(Via Facebook)

As odd as it may sound...

(via Facebook)

"Show me how it ends...

...Show me how defenseless you really are..."

That thread...

(Image via Facebook)

Awesomeness...

This was posted over at a friend's page on Facebook. Of course I have to share... it's Metallica. Pretty amazing kid.

But then I went agoogling and found this, which is just pure awesomeness, live and with an audience...

Never too late...

Funny isn't it, when struggling to find a reason, to find substance in your life, that something as simple as three words and a video can pop back into your head.

Image via Facebook

 

But not for me...

I can see the light but it is blindness
I can feel the warmth
I can taste its sweetness
I can hear the song
but it is not for me

I can see the darkness and it is home
I feel the cold
I taste the bitter tongue
I hear the dirge
but it is not for me

I can see the ember as it fades
I can feel it brighten as I breathe
I can almost taste the joy it needs
I can hear the whisper from which it feeds
but it is not for me

(Hot off the fingertips of my brain. Something a little different. It has been a while as I haven't been able to share much of anything.)

This is so bad...

(Via George Takei's Facebook Page)

  

Apologies to the man and the band, but it made me smile.

That human need...

Rather funny considering the title of the previous post that this came up in my Facebook feed today. The look on Eeyore's face cracked me up, and brought back to mind some thoughts that I had shared before.

(Image from Facebook)

Hold me in your arms...

Had this song in my head today...

Because I said so...

 

 

Fluffy memories...

(Image from Facebook)

When I first saw this, I was just thinking "yummy"... and then when I looked closer, I noticed that it was constructed with those thin chocolate wafers... Remember that dessert? We would stack the chocolate wafers with whipped cream in between and lay it down on the plate and cover it with more whipped cream... You'd let it sit in the fridge for a bit and when it came out, the wafers had softened and expanded and it would be like cake encased in fluffy creamy awesomeness...

Impressions...

(Image from Facebook)

 

This image came up in Facebook and I "liked" it, but when I looked at it again tonight, I got to thinking a little deeper. I think I've had a fondness for Impressionist paintings since I was a kid, but I just realized that the style, the finished works, appeal to me because they resemble beautiful faded memories... a vision of colour and light residing in rippled water. 

My favourite Irishman

Happy Birthday.

Cleaning up the house...

this song came up. Good pairing. (And yes, it was this one and not the Harry Belafonte version.)

 

 

Well, I guess I better get back to it... Took a little break for French Toast, a hot drink and the laptop. Ended up being on here longer than planned. Metallica is on now.

Friday night fun!

A great big thank you to Harvey over at Bad Example. I just happened to go over there to see how it was going, and clicked on a link in his most recent post which lead me to confirming what I have often surmised. I am woefully undesirable. As of today, my dating marketabilitiy is 3. In a few days, I will be a 1. I started off as a -8 because of my age. The range of scores is -83 to +64.

I fall under this category:

-4 to 14: Classic beta. Your hot friends always gets hit on first, but if you really tramp it up you can snag a slightly better than average guy to take you home for a single night of commitment.

And people wonder why I never married?

(Oh... the other funny thing? It assumes that all women will not answer the questions truthfully and therefore must deduct 10 points from their final score. Reading some of the comments, this just may be true, but I believe I would be an exception to that rule. I am, to put it bluntly, rather brutally honest with most things, especially myself.)

Try it out yourself and come back to comment with your "score".

For women.

For men.

 

As the title says... Friday night fun.

A different kind of weird...

 

 And this...

 

(Images from Facebook)

 

To which I will add: If you're looking for nothing, you'll find nothing. If you aren't looking for anything, you will always find something.

What difference does it make?

None.

Why do I do it?  Because I CAN.

To honour the fallen since last time:

Ohio (2), Iowa, Louisiana (2), Maryland,
Florida (3), North Carolina, Arizona (2),
Oklahoma, Michigan

It's the closest thing I could find...

 

We had snow Monday morning... but it fairly quickly changed to rain and then by the afternoon, it was sunny... Shall patiently wait for Spring to spring, or... perhaps just spring right into Summer.

A7734

Not sure if this will work here, as it is a Facebook link. I went agoogling for something a little more substantial and found this, which provides a little bit more information. He would be turning 73 years old this year.

Recommended rainy day reading...

from "Letters of Note", which I have linked to before, at least twice, perhaps a few times...)

An American president.

A British popstar.

A concerned citizen...

A guy named Fred Flom.

A rather popular author.

A crooner with an image.

Funny that I had saved these links quite some time ago and I couldn't even come up with a way to introduce them. I guess I saved them for a rainy day...
 

Groovy...

 

I seem to be mesmerized by the feet of the Google Irish Dancers...

 

Step away from the laptop ma'am...

 

An Old Irish Blessing...

 

 Happy Saint Patrick's Day

 

Speaking of dwindling...

Well... it has been three years since my inaugural blog. I didn't even notice that the day had passed by already, but then, I haven't been much into blogging the past couple months, and have been letting it slide. I did take note of it on time last year, and upon reading the comment thread just now, I see that my mind was working much, much better then. It is amazing what can happen in a year... yet not.

1516 posts in three years.
Further in debt.
Brain function dwindling.
Still lost.
But I'm alive... so there's that.

 

Splotchy and jumbled...

I did a post earlier called "The Meaning of Life... An Interpretation", without any explanation. This is somewhat of a follow-up to that.

"I don't know what's going on with my head... There aren't really any specific thoughts rolling around, but my brain seems to be overworking, processing stuff that isn't really there." My head actually hurt, and that was how I explained what brought me to that point. To clarify, "isn't really there" isn't quite accurate... It is as though there is a sub-routine processing whatever thoughts there are that exist beneath the surface, tucked away in a separate folder. I was going to start the next sentence by saying "For all intents and purposes", but I just realized that there are no intents and purposes for me, for anything I do. I actually walk through the day, almost completely empty, as though I am simply going through the motions of being alive. The only thing that matters is ... food... my cookies, so to speak.

 

As I was writing that, the shooting pain returned a few times. There is no pattern as to duration, frequency or time of day, but it is always in the same place at the back of my head. It started a few days ago, and is just rather odd for me, as I never used to get headaches...ever. I am trusting that this is a temporary condition, as it does seem to be dwindling daily.

Oh... and if anything I've written doesn't make sense, I think I best described it as: "Brain tired." "It just feels like my words and sentences are all over the place." "... splotchy and jumbled."

  

Reason

On Christmas Day, after dinner at my place, I was sitting with a relative as she was waiting for her kids to finish watching a movie. She said she was "bored"... and somehow we got to talking about current events, including the Sandy Hook massacre, and she brought up the issue of gun control. The need for more gun control. At some point, the boy came into the room to see what we were "fighting" about, but returned to the movie after realizing that we were only in a debate of sorts. During the conversation, I stated my position and made my point, but there was no wavering on the other side. My point is, that in reality, there will always be criminals and madmen (and crazy women) in this world. They will always find a way to do their evil. There will not always be someone to come and save you. We must always have a means with which to defend ourselves and those close to us. What I don't understand is how can a parent not wish to have that option, to have the freedom, the means, and the ability with which to defend oneself and one's children should the need arise?

 

Most conversations are had and then fade with the passage of time, as with most of my memories. This one however has stayed with me. Then, a while back I saw a link to this video, watched it a couple times and saved it, with no idea how to apply it until tonight.

YouTubeLink (Views when I originally watched it: 304,685)

The Meaning of Life...

An interpretation...

I never thought about it

quite this way before...

(via Facebook)

 

but yes, it makes perfect sense. Oddly enough, also perfect timing that this should come up today, considering my previous post.