Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Face the music...

I fear that this emptiness will never be filled and that it will remain a cold, dark void until I die. The interests and miscellaneous activities that used to fill the time and space of my life are no longer, and thus the void expands. Of course there is yet a faint glimmer of hope, the possibility that something exists, but it is a vague thought, abstract and distant.

I wrote that last night.

What gives rise to such thoughts yet again? Two things... That damn glimmer of hope is one of them. The other?  A situation which makes me question my abilities, feeds the feeling of inadequacy, and at the end of the day makes me feel like crap. 

This morning I felt torn. I still do. I have a day off from work. I always go in to do a little extra work on my day off. I'm being eaten away by the nibbling dread.  

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