Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

The drought revisited...

Once again, living off of one's credit card and line of credit, as well as borrowing money to pay for a mortgage, isn't exactly the best way to go about life, but I am no stranger to it, as I had to make due when going through my own personal drought a few years ago. Not a whole heck of a lot of options in a small town previously supported by resource based industry that no longer exists in the area. I made a go of my own business which I thoroughly enjoyed and after that, worked for a non-profit, but had to make the difficult decision to leave. As I mentioned before, I'm in the same place I was fresh out of high school, the only difference being the major debt load I'm now carrying. It would be nice to start fresh, but life doesn't work that way when you're almost fifty with no prospects of any sort.

I wonder about the "before", when music and movies, sports, or pretty pictures and creativity, could help make life flow. Where did that all go? Depression the demon whispers. Losing interest in your interests. Withdrawing from society. Feeling lost. Bouts of sadness for no reason. Now that I think about it, perhaps working at a job and keeping busy at that job for over twenty years, such that I didn't have to participate in or pursue a life, was just prolonging the inevitable. If the job had ended sooner, this would have come crashing down sooner. But... could there have ever been a cosmic plan for this speck of dust? I think not.

So I buy food. So I splurged on a few movies to watch. That's about it, but it will do for now. I am glad of my choices. Of movies that is. Three I chose. And three I enjoyed greatly. (I had a feeling I would though.)



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