A swing and a miss...

I made a rather astonishingly bold move after trying to hold on for a few months at work, and am without employment. It is funny after having such a routine life for over two decades that so much changed within the seven year period that followed. It seems rather fitting that the namesake for this blog passed away a few days before the fifth anniversary of its creation and that it coincided with this upcoming, new chapter to my life. What can I say? I don't know what to do. Can I reinvent myself for the third time in seven years? I look at job postings daily, even entertaining online jobs, and found that the most appealing and suitable, were those entry level positions for students of an age that I am well past.. I am not surprised, all things considered. 

So how have I been spending my time? Definitely not blogging. Not travelling. Other than the expected, feeling guilty for not doing more and spending too much time online, I have been working out in the yard. Fifteen bundles of cherry tree branches, six bags of yardwaste and several piles of proposed bonfire wood, as well as one small tree unearthed, a few evergreen younglings pulled up and transplanted to pots temporarily, three new plantings and some seed thrown in for moonflowers and poppies. Also handwashed another section of the house exterior, but have been woefully neglecting the interior.

You know.... all this "do what you love" or "love what you do" or "find your passion"... crap? It is wonderful. It is lovely. But life throws you curveballs. The universe chanting "hey batter, batter"... "ooooooh, and it's a swing and a miss". The thing is... I've had three strikes already. I know I'm not out of the game, but it still sucks.

What next?

In the past few days, I have been considering the idea of trying to get my poetry published. This isn't an income generating idea, nor is it intended as such. Just yesterday, I spent about four hours going through a list of mission statements and submission guidelines for over one hundred publishers with "poetry" in their repertoire. Out of all that and the "not accepting unsolicited manuscripts", I shortened the list to thirty. If you take away the "only those who have been published....", "edgy", and "high quality", there really aren't that many choices for what I have to offer. Self-publishing is the only other route. A fundraising campaign would be an option, but in the back of my mind, there's always that niggling "what if it sucks?" and "who would read it?"

I don't know. I guess I'm throwing my pitch out to the universe.