I may have been mistaken...

 

27 years ago I heard a song for the first time, and in that very moment I thought to myself "this is it", the be all and end all of songs. There would never be another song quite like this. There may have been others that have hit me in a similar fashion since then, but with my dwindling memory, that is the one which remains most embedded. The past decade in the music industry has not yielded a great deal to draw me in, as there didn't seem to be much character in the offering. Then this song, in all its bare simplicity came along to prove me wrong.

So as I yet struggle to find meaning, to find purpose, to find a place where I do not feel the life being sucked right out of me, I suppose this song's evocative nature came to my attention in a timely manner. And on that note, if you have taken the time to read this far, take a stroll through the blog as it lays dying. Say something. Where you are from or something.

Poof...

I fell through the cracks of my own life. The fractured shell can either hold together or disintegrate. Exist or disappear. There is no living here. Another day, another night. In that murky darkness before dawn is when those fractures come to light. And so I write.

That is all.

 

Maybe I will some day...

even though it hasn't spoken to me in a really long time...

Because...

I need to quiet the silence in between...

Thank what?

 

Thank you fruit flies, for initiating a conversation about manure and maggots.

 

Yes, it was an actual conversation.

 

And no, it was not the strangest conversation I've had. 

 

Losing...

Made to feel small by someone else's words at work this morning. Feeling terribly small now. Trying to find meaning in life by playing Tetris and speeding up the blocks. Losing.

*****
 

Mom would have been 79 years old today. She's been gone almost 14 years now. I am not one to ponder what her advice or thoughts would be on matters, but today it crossed my mind. I wonder what she would have to say about all this.

*****

Tetris is my metaphor for life. The blocks continue to fall, but leaving too many empty spaces. Now they are speeding up, falling at a faster rate, leaving even more empty and I'm running out of time to make something fit so I can keep going before the game ends.