What?

I wrote the following in a notebook on June 19, 2010. In the margin notes I jotted down when I re-read the journal, I had written in bold, capital letters "WHAT?????"

One breath, two Souls

Two minds, one thought

One love, two hearts

Yeah, I don't know where it came from.  It weren't me!!!  It must have been my cuddly and fluffy evil twin.

Egads...

Funny... I didn't realize until now, that I am... that cat.

Friday Night Frivolity...

You do not really want to know how many hours I just spent watching videos on Jokeroo. You also don't want to know that I just embedded eight videos into a blogpost and after I saved it and was ready to post it, the internet gods magically changed all eight embed codes to the same one. Twice. Why twice? Oh... because I thought it was something I did wrong the first time. 

So for now I am only posting this one.  Enjoy.

Training...

... discipline. I like it.

Parenting...

This method may not be effective in the long run, but it gets the point across.

Tomorrow Never Knows...

I heard a song the other night, and knew that I had heard it before, but I couldn't for the life of me remember where or when. The one I listened to was a cover by Phil Collins, on another CD that was in the "getting rid of" stack. I was picking my brain about who sang it before, and recalled it being on a movie soundtrack... The Craft. I could not figure out who sang the original though, so I had to Google it. Turns out it was by ... the Beatles.  The album was "Revolver" and I have a funny feeling that I used to have the vinyl LP.

"Tomorrow Never Knows"

Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream
It is not dying, it is not dying

Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void
It is shining, it is shining

Yet you may see the meaning of within
It is being, it is being

Love is all and love is everyone
It is knowing, it is knowing

And ignorance and hate mourn the dead
It is believing, it is believing

But listen to the colour of your dreams
It is not leaving, it is not leaving

So play the game "Existence" to the end
Of the beginning, of the beginning
Of the beginning, of the beginning
Of the beginning, of the beginning
Of the beginning, of the beginning

Wow... listening to the words, really listening to just the words and reading them after what seems like an eternity, makes me wonder if the interrelated structure of reality has indeed brought me full circle, from the ending of one to the beginning of another. Hell... I knew that the end of many things was here, I just didn't know when the beginning is supposed to begin... and of what? All I saw...  all that I yet see... is the void of uncertainty.

Forever...

A story I came across today confirming the existence of wuv... twue wuv, in a bwessed awangement which lasted 72 years and ended with the couple holding hands.

Random chuckles...

I was remiss in not responding to old friend's email in a timely manner, and as my non-existent life is a long-standing joke, this was the reply I received:

"Helloooo.....

I thought for a minute that you did have lots going on and maybe that's why you haven't emailed....Got all excited there for a minute....."

I chuckled to myself.

***

Was at a restaurant the other day, and sitting at the table across from us were a guy and two gals, probably in their twenties. The gal sitting on her own opposite the other two, and facing my direction,  made imquiry of the waitress as to the Veggie Burger. She wanted to know if it tasted like meat. She wanted the Veggie Burger that tasted like meat. I... I...  (Meat is good...  meat is good...)

I almost burst out laughing. Or ... maybe I just stifled a guffaw.

Heavy...

I never read Anne of Green Gables when I was a little girl. Heck... I never even read anything by Jane Austen until a few years ago. Just not quite my cup of tea I suppose. Anyways, Anne of Green Gables was written by beloved author, Lucy Maud Montgomery, who, unbeknownst to me had also written poetry, which I didn't find out about until I was in my twenties. She was a famous Canadian writer, known for her cherished children's stories, which I had never read, and I knew very little about her. I have a book of her poems which I know that I read through at some point, but the only one that stood out in my mind, or with my poor memory, was one regarding Sorrow as a companion. Tonight, as I was reading over at Thormoo's blog, this poem came to mind. I knew I still had that book of poems, but I went online to search as I figured it would be faster. I found a few sites and scanned through the list, clicked on a few, but couldn't find it, so I went to grab the book. It didn't take me too long, just skimming through the titles. It was called "The Revelation".

The Revelation
by Lucy Maud Montgomery

Once to my side a veiled figure came

To bear me company,

Deeming that Sorrow was her bitter name,

I strove from her to flee.

She clasped my hand in hers and led me on

Beneath a clouded sky;

Till many dour and dreary days had gone,

Right sullenly went I.

But as time passed I grew to love my guide.

No more escape I sought;

At last contented by her gentle side

To learn the lessons taught.

Then lifted she her veil and showed to me

Her calm eternal youth.

"Lo! Mortal, who has known my ministry,

Behold me - I am Truth."

All I know is that this poem struck a chord with me years ago when I first read it, enough so that it would remain in my memory.

Lucy Maud Montgomery was born in 1874 and died in 1942. What I found out tonight is that she suffered from severe depression and  took her own life, at the age of 67.

Skylines...

Dancing with tears in my eyes...

I've had a song in my head for about a week or more, but couldn't remember the title or much of the song for that matter. The other day I opened a box of CDs that I was going to be getting rid of for many years now but never did, and I found one by Midge Ure, the lead singer for a band called Ultravox that I remember listening to in the 80s. As soon as I saw the CD, I knew it was his voice in that song which had resonated with me, so I went aGoogling for info and found that the song I was thinking of was "Vienna". When I went looking for a link, I ended up finding a few versions, but this one was the cleanest, or clearest that I could find:



Oddly enough I clicked on another link and found a live acoustic version from twenty years later, with the comedian Eddie Izzard accompanying on the piano. I thought that was weird not because Mr. Izzard is playing the piano, but because I had posted a link to one of his stand-up routines not too long ago.

Anyways...  in the midst of the YouTubing, I also rediscovered a song of theirs that I had almost completely forgotten. The funny thing is that I have a vague recollection that the end of the world was often on the periphery of my thoughts back in my youth, which makes it surprising that I didn't remember the song or the video until it started playing.

Listening to that song again after more than two decades, brings to mind a question tonight.  If the world were to end tomorrow, are you where you want to be... or with someone that you want to be with?

Giggling like a school girl?

No, not really, nor that I ever did, but pretty darn close to my reaction when I saw the announcement a while back as to who was going to be starring in the Avengers movie. I just saw the official trailer last night and all I can say is that, good or bad, I am going to like this one ... a lot.

YouTubeLink.

From Twinkle to Pipers...

I don't know about me. For some reason I had "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in my head, so I went YouTubing for it. Of course then I got to wondering if there was a metal parody of it. Found several (not metal) versions, checked out a few, but nothing that caught my twinkle. Not sure exactly what the segue was, but there on the sidebar I noticed something that I just had to share. From one of the most moving scores in movie history.

YouTubeLink.

And then something else caught my eye. Something about Dueling Pipers. Made me smile. The funny thing is that if you take a listen, you will hear part of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in there.

It's got zing...

...zip or zest... a slight sweet tanginess. What am I talking about? Miracle Whip. I had one participant in my Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip post the other day. Yippee! I guess no one else was up for it, or maybe no one is bothering to read. Whatever.  Why Miracle Whip? It has character.  It isn't one dimensional. For sandwiches, Miracle Whip works better than Mayonnaise with Tuna, with Tomato, with Bacon and Tomato, with Salmon, with Roast Beef,  with Corned Beef, with Pastrami. It even adds more flavour to Macaroni Salad. Getting hungry now I am. One more thing... my mom used to make a delicious Shrimp Dip. There was no set recipe, but I learned how to make it by watching her every year when she was getting stuff ready for the New Years Day open house. There is no way in heck that that dip would work without the wee bit of zip provided by Miracle Whip. (Heh... read that sentence over just for fun.) Technically, it wouldnt work if you omitted any one of the ingredients. Back then I didnt even like shrimp, but I liked that dip, and I still make it, like mom used to.

My answers:

1. Miracle Whip.

2. Tabasco Sauce... because its got some heat at least.

3. Chili... withOUT beans... because without beans means
     it has BEEF in it.

4. Handshake.

5. Spinach... because it has more substance.

6. Lemons. This was a tough one, regardless of my
    thoughts on Lime Crush, Lime Slurpies and Key Lime Pie.

7. Snow... because you can work AND play with it.

8. Beef... despite my drooling desire for chicken.

9. Bacon... oh... bacon.

10. Couldn't decide. Hadn't listened to either in ages.
       My first instinct was the Stones.

October...

YouTubeLink.  (Views 7734)

Just a song wherein its simplicity struck me as a teenager and which has stayed with me through the years. It seemed fitting to follow the previous post.

Virtual hugs... me?

Over the past year, and since I wrote about my opinion on hugs, I may have softened a wee bit on the subject. I've written about being lost, cold, empty, broken and fractured, as well as on the matter of becoming human. There was a song I posted several months ago that reminded me of someone, and in the trend towards softening up and being human, I will admit that tonight, I am sending a virtual hug his way. I don't believe he has been over here for a while, but he will know the reason for this.

On a recent foray into his old blog, I came across a little bit which made me smile:

"I used to have dreams as a youngster, where I could see almost all of our farm from a birdseye view. Had it for years, and then told my ma about it. Come to find out, when I was three, I climbed the silo all the way to the top, and stood in the little crow's nest checkin' the place out. About the time my dad started to climb up, I decided it was time to come down, so I made my way, yelling at my father to "get out of the way, Daddy, I'm coming down!" When I reached arms' level, I was yanked off of the silo, and my little bottom blistered. I never had a problem remembering the spankin', but I did forget what had brought it on!"

His most recent post can be read here.

*****

Hmm... I am also sending virtual hugs out to the family of another young man I didn't know and never met, but whom I had written about last year a couple times after coming across his sister's blog journal of his battle with cancer. For whatever reason, I remember he passed away the day after Christmas and that it was his birthday today.

Name calling...

I'm sure we have all done it at some point in our lives, but I like to think that there comes a time when you outgrow it. Perhaps it is simply because as one matures, there is that buffer or filter between how we feel and what we say. I don't know. Last night I called someone a "nebulous void". Of course, it didn't stirke me as odd until just now. Maybe it is just that our vocabulary improves with age.

Done...

I think I am done. I am fractured and cannot be reset. Whomever I was is gone. My memories are shards of glass on a dusty floor. My past is gleaned from pictures that I once saw of myself, but that I carry no longer. The mirror now, so faded and worn that I no longer see my own reflection. The thoughts and words that once flowed so freely from my mind and hand in youth have become the parched throat of decaying time. There is no more me left. This quiet peaceful place that I came to in my life has become a  cold empty tomb and all I want to do is die close my eyes, be enveloped in warmth and sleep.

Random advice...

I agree with all ten from this list, but I am only capable of six of them at present.

Miracle Whip or Mayonnaise?

A post about homemade mayonnaise over at Bad Example prompted me to pose the question, Miracle Whip or Mayonnaise?  I know my answer and I wish to expound on that, but I must ponder my reasons carefully. For now however, some more of this or that, that came to mind.

1. Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?
2. Tabasco Sauce or Ketchup?

3. Chili... with beans or without?
4. Hug or handshake?
5. Lettuce or spinach?

6. Lemons or limes?
7. Snow or rain?
8. Chicken or beef?

9. Bacon or sausages?
10. The Stones or the Beatles?

As with most things, not quite as good as the first time, but a few tough choices nonetheless.